National Eating Disorders Association

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hermione3
Trying to hold on to small steps

I am doing the best I can with eating on my meal plan. I feel I have done well for my first week of actually following it but my therapist when I saw her said I can’t trust you yet and also it had been 3 days in j usually give up. Gaining scares me and our session the other day really delved into things I need to face and start dealing with. I am away with my parents which was not what my therapist wanted but I am trying to not let it derail me and the small steps I have taken in eating more this week. I have to keep it up this week and accept that I have to just let myself gain and my fears of my weight getting out of control is really unfounded my therapist said I went past what I should when I was in a program that force fed me and another time I was on a medication. I will be ok and have to accept changes in my body. Trauma stuff is hard right now and realizing my parents are emotionally abusive and still really are just in like sneaky ways my other abusers are out of my life they are the constant. I have to make boundaries hard for me.

alwaysthinking
Congrats

Good for you for the small steps you've been able to make and for recognizing what you still need to be able to do with the boundaries. I'm sorry that your parents are emotionally abusive. Mine were as well so I can empathize with that. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself and I hope that things continue to improve.

hermione3
Thank you for the support and

Thank you for the support and understanding. I ate so much today I feel awful and I was at a reception for my aunt and uncle and the woman next to me kept saying oh I can’t have that I can’t have the calories. It’s just difficult when I have to do my own thing but even with my parents I had to make sure I had a real lunch even though we were having a big dinner my parents often let that slide. I hate how I feel right now but I have to gain. My boundaries I just don’t know how to make them.

julesthefox
I’m sorry you’re feeling

I’m sorry you’re feeling awful. But good for you for saying no to that ED voice and doing what you know you need to do. You are so strong, especially when having to fight both the ED voice and the abuse you’re receiving from the outside. You definitely made positive steps for your future. You are worth so much more than how they treat you. I know you may not feel it now, but you should be so proud of how you are despite what others were saying. You did what you knew you needed to do. That is amazing.
Sending love,
Julesthefox

hermione3
Thank you so much for the

Thank you so much for the support it is difficult with my parents but I am working hard on doing what I have to do. I weighed myself today freaked out but following my meal plan anyway. I am sad but doing my best

hermione3
Thank you so much for the

Thank you so much for the support it is difficult with my parents but I am working hard on doing what I have to do. I weighed myself today freaked out but following my meal plan anyway. I am sad but doing my best