National Eating Disorders Association

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dittoditto
Sometimes the Question should be

Sometimes the question should not be: "why are they doing what they are doing?".

Rather, the question should be: "why am I doing what I am doing?" From this, we will learn a lot more.

BobJ48
Questioning...

I answer a lot of posts on another site, where people who are active in their EDs hang out. And I gotta say, when we try and explain things to others, we are working at explaining those things to ourselves as well.

But yeah, why do we end up doing what we do ? As you implied, it can be complicated. Do we hope to rescue the other person ? Are we of the sort that is unsettled by uncertainty ? Are we trying to affirm certain things for ourselves ? And what about our desire for connection ?

It's not are though there's nothing to learn when things go well, but as you said, there can be a whole lot to learn about others and ourselves, when things don't seem to be going well too.