National Eating Disorders Association

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From Amberc1223 - Any tips on fighting urges to binge & purge?

Hi, I'm new here...but unf have struggled w/ bulimia for way too long. I can't seem to find anything that works good enough to stop me from giving into my urges to binge and purge and the whole unhealthy cycle...I was wondering if anyone had anything that worked well for them? That they were willing to share. I want to beat this so bad. I have literally given bulimia my life for the last 24 years. And I hate myself so much for it. My apartment has become like jail because I look outside and want to go outside but I don't I don't even know what life is really like anymore. All I know is the bulimia. I've tried many things, but nothing seems to work good enough. And I definitely don't want to lean anything towards restriction either. I just don't understand why I have these crazy urges, like all the time. I mean I get them when I am sad, stressed lonely overwhelmed, but then I even got them today when all I wanted to do was clean my apartment and that's just something normal that everyone asked to do so it just makes me feel horrible about myself. I also have really bad anxiety and depression and PTSD. So if I could just find a way to calm myself down, maybe that would help. I haven't working and Leslie with doctors and programs but nothing seems to stick with me or work. I feel like a lost cause but I won't give up. I can't give up. I just really wanted to learn from any of you guys that are going through it yourself. I trust doctors but it's always so helpful to learn from those that are really experiencing it and fighting it too& know exactly how it feels themselves. Every time I binge and purge I hate myself more. I feel like I can't even hate myself more but the heat goes on anon. They discussed the loneliness the avoidance the sadness...I want out of this eating disorder. I want to discover what life is like because I have not had a life for way too long. I want out of this eating disorder. I want to discover what life is like because I have not had a life for way too long. Anyways thank you for reading this and I just wanted to wish you all the best and support and positive thoughts. I think it's awesome to have this for him I just found out about it. I am a flake but I'm going to try to change that and check in and be on here consistently. Take care everyone. Love always, Amber

Hi Amberc1223,

I just made a new topic for you, hope you don't mind. I think it better suits as a separate topic. Anyways, I am sorry you are being taken over by the ED so long. I think the first step is just to go outside. Doesn't matter doing what, even if it's just walking a block or 2. But at least you would have felt doing something. You can even write down some activities you can pick so the choice would be not as overwhelming.

Secondly you can think about what is living for you? Living for you is something different than other people see as living. Your sisters might be happy with kids and everything, but maybe you don't. And again, maybe you do and need to work towards that in the future.

And just wanted to say, you are not lesser than anybody else. You are great in your own way. And unless you find your own way, you will always feel lesser since you then keep comparing yourself to others (like I do) and you will never be happy about that. There will always be somebody that's better than you in your eyes.

Take care!

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