National Eating Disorders Association

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Hello and welcome to the forum. I am so sorry to hear about your sister and your story. Thank you for sharing. You did an excellent job at explaining what you have been through with your sister. You are correct in saying you are not to blame. I understand you may feel "how did I not know?" But your sister was clever in lying and deceiving all. You did the right thing in getting her help. It is up to HER to decide if she is going to keep up with what she will learn in treatment. You are doing what is good for you in setting boundaries. Boundaries are a sign of love believe it or not. It forces the one who is ill to utilize the help that is there for her and will help keep your relationship healthy. You are correct in saying you are not able to carry her and you. As difficult as it has been for you to get her the help she needs, you did the loving thing, even if she is angry with you for it. I am really proud of you for loving your sister enough to do the difficult things you have done for her, and for yourself. Please know we are here for you. I am glad you posted. You have been through a lot and as you said you are both older and it makes recovery a bit more challenging. I am 51 and after thirty plus years of suffering am now in recovery. So it is possible. I relied on my faith in Jesus and my parents support and my friends. So. Again, I am glad you posted and shared your story. Please let us know how things go. Take care,


Dear FSH.

Everything IWTL said above is the truth. I know it must have been difficult to call the police on your sister, and to know that they were taking actions that were likely traumatic for her. That can't have been a comfortable time, I know.

But as you've seen, she had reached a point where she was unable to take care of herself, and where others needed to take over.

Hopefully things will go a bit better for her now. If they can bring her nutrition up, people's thinking and mood often improves. You may find that's the case with your sister.

And really, BPD is no picnic, so it's really admirable that you've been able to look out for yourself in the manner you have. While it may not seem like it at the moment, I hope you'll be able to give yourself a pat on the back at some point for dealing with this situation in a manner that's finally brought your sister the help that she needs. xx