National Eating Disorders Association

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Charliebarr
Binge

I’m so sad. I wasn’t eating. I went a couple weeks on x amounts of cals but for some reason now I have binged 3 times. Once Sunday, yesterday and now today. I feel awful, disgusting and just so sad. I’m lost and depressed and don’t know what to do.

Savedbygrace
I'm so sorry

You are struggling so much. Eating disorders are so hard to deal with. The good news is that you can start fresh at each meal and snack. I can relate to using the same symptoms as you. I also appreciate you refraining from the specific amount of calories. So thank you. Do you have any coping techniques to forgive yourself for slipping up or being gentle with yourself as you are only human and are doing your best? Maybe you could watch one of your favorite shows or cat videos or something? But it's good you reached out on the forum.

lovetowrite81
Charliebarr

I'm also sorry to hear you are struggling. But yes as Savedbygrace mentioned-- tomorrow is a new day. As tempting as it might be to severely restrict following a binge, I found that would just set me up for another binge. Try to get back on a healthy meal routine tomorrow. And try to be gentle with yourself. Maybe you could engage in some form of self-care tonight? Keep us posted on how you're doing, we are here for you <3

chunkymonkey68
Your a Good Person, it's ok to eat sometimes a lil more.

Sometimes it is emotional eating, others are boredom related. Do you know what triggered these binges? You could always find a therapist at school or in a clinic if you find this pattern disturbing to you and look into more closely why you are now eating like this.

s.boewer
Sorry

I'm sorry you are so down on yourself about your binges, that is a really awful feeling and I remember it well. As everyone has already said, tomorrow is a new day and you can start again with a positive outlook. When I was recovering from my bulimia over 20 years ago, I would take it hour by hour in the beginning. I would tell myself I can easily make it one hour without a binge, and I would do it. Then I would add time to create a new goal, like staying binge free for six hours, and always telling myself I can binge if I want in six hours. When I got to six hours I didn't binge but I added more time, until I reached an entire day as my goal. Then I told myself that tomorrow I could binge but for today I would not, and I began to add entire days to being binge free. The idea for me was to take it slow and in small doses that I knew I could handle. It really helped me in the beginning to just set realistic and attainable goals. I handled my drug addiction the same way and stayed sober hour by hour, then day by day, and now it is just natural to stay sober. I recovered from restrictive eating 6 months ago and I did the same thing, telling myself it was just one meal and if I choose, I can restrict the next meal, and so on. Try not to beat yourself up as you have done nothing wrong and you need self-love and self-care more than ever now. I wish you all the best, you can beat this so never give up

Charliebarr
UPDATE

I am a complete mess. it has become an awful cycle of binge purge restrict and purge and I hate myself. I don't want to live like this.

Jennj
Chariebarr

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way! Is there somewhere you could go for help? A counselor or therapist or support group? Do you have a friend or family member you can confide in? Try to keep a journal when you get the urge to binge or even come here and post to distract yourself. Just knowing you have a community that supports you can help change your mindset, knowing you aren’t alone. Please stay strong and update us how you’re doing, thinking of you!

s.boewer
Sorry

Hi- I am sorry that you are so down on yourself and still struggling to get through this vicious cycle. Can you talk to anyone as the previous post asked? Did you try to set small goals, like not binging for just an hour and then repeating that until you get more time binge free? There is always Over-eater's Anonymous 12-step meetings and they were truly a miracle for me when I was bulimic and stuck in the same cycle you are in. The great part about OA meetings is that everyone there has struggled with binge eating and it is such a relief to be with a group of people who not only understand, but many of whom have had success in overcoming the cycle you are in now. I know meetings sound crazy and anxiety can prevent you from trying it out, but I just thought I would suggest it since it really saved my life. Try to be gentle with yourself through positive affirmations and self-love during this bad time. You are not at fault, you are struggling with a real disease that at times is beyond control but it can be managed so don't give up. I can tell by your post that you are beating yourself up, an ED loves it when that happens because it feeds off of negativity and self-doubt. I hope you will try some positive self-talk even if you are disgusted with the behaviors because it really does help. Maybe some distractions when you feel urges, like writing, reading, posting on this forum, a hot bath or a favorite t.v. show? Distractions helped me when it was bad as did telling myself I only needed to go one hour without a binge until I was able to string together several days. Please keep posting here to at least get out your frustrations because it will help. I wish you the best and I will pray for you tonight.