National Eating Disorders Association

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Charliebarr
Relapse and maybe treatment

I have completely relapsed and I am back to not eating, I eat if anything about 240ish calories a day. I go to the gym twice a day and I just can't not get myself to eat or not be preoccupied with food 24/7. My therapist has recently recommend me taking a medical leave from college and becoming an inpatient but it sounds like a lot. Technically looking at a BMI chart I am not out of range I just feel like I am not sick enough to go into treatment. I know that is probs the ED talking because I was purging and restricting and fasting and now I'm starving but I just feel like leaving school is dramatic and it is already almost march I only have to make it till May 10th! I just don't know what to do I guess.

RightHereWithYou
I'm Sorry

I recently fell back into my ed. I struggle with anorexia and have for 9 years. It is hard when you fall back into it. Part of me feels like I should know how to get out of it like I did before. But it really isn't that simple.

I know it isn't easy to eat. But at the very least make sure you're eating something nutritious when you do or take a multivitamin. It's at least something. I also wouldn't diminish your ed just because you aren't technically underweight by bmi standards. It's very easy to fall into the idea that you have to look a certain way or be a certain weight to need professional help. I'm very sorry to hear that you are struggling like this. Please, remember you are worth the effort. You have the power to beat this. Whether you choose professional help or choose to tackle it on your own. I know it is so easy to get caught in the web of thoughts you probably have on a day to day basis. But cling to the things that bring you joy. You've done a good thing by going to someone about it. You are strong enough to recover from this.

Charliebarr
Hi

Im so sorry that you have fallen back into you ED as well. having an ED is an everyday struggle try to steer your mindset on a good path. I 100% feel you on feeling like you should be able to just get out of it. I was "good" again for about a month and then just one day of eating too much or one day of too much stress and bamb you are back at square one completely in relapse. Thank you for reaching out to me and giving me advice it is not easy to think clear in time like this and I value what you have to say. I have to remember I AM STRONG ENOUGH TO BEAT THIS but I may just need some help.

s.boewer
Sorry

I just want to say I'm sorry that you are going through a relapse. I am recovered from bulimia and more recently, restricting/anorexia. It is so difficult to regain your footing without professional help, and it sounds like you are really struggling even if your BMI is normal. I am concerned that if you wait, you will put yourself in real danger because anorexia is life threatening. I know how important school is and I totally understand your hesitation to take time off and postpone success. I also know that school is always there waiting and going back after time off is sometimes the smartest choice. Without nutrition your ability to study will diminish and you might regret not taking care of your health. I am glad you have a therapist to talk to and I hope it is enough to support you in turning this relapse around. I remember having to learn to eat again and the fear it caused when I began to take in more calories, and somehow I did it with only a therapist and the help of a 12-step program so perhaps therapy will be enough support in your case. Just remember you are worth receiving help and there is no shame in choosing to put your health first. I promise you school will be there, as I have myself taken semesters off for a variety of reasons and gone back when I was ready. Like the previous pot said, try to eat nutritious foods and take a multi-vitamin if you can. I know how hard it is with a loud ED voice but try anyway and work in therapy to examine the core issues to overcome this set-back. I probably didn't say anything that helped but I just wanted to say I relate and I'm sorry you are suffering. Also, getting professional help is not dramatic if it saves your life, that's your ED voice talking. Dramatic will be what occurs if you don't get help and deteriorate to the point of a medical crisis. I hope it doesn't progress that far and that you will ask for help if you need it. Write again when you decide what to do because people do care and I will pray for you tonight.

Charliebarr
thank you

honestly thank you so much for replying you have helped me a lot. I have still not 100% made up my mind on what to do yet but you have shown me a lot of good points and the way you put "getting professional help is not dramatic, it saves your life" really resonated with me. I am going home next week to discuss with my parents my options and learn about what facilities are out there. I really want to be better and it has been about 7 months since I've been diagnosed and I tried to do this on my own and obviously it is not going away so maybe treatment is really what I need.

s.boewer
Hi again

Hi again- Glad to hear you are seriously considering treatment and plan on asking your parents to help, that's great. Without your health you have nothing else and it sounds like you are really struggling right now with severe and dangerous symptoms. Eating so few calories a day and hitting the gym twice a day as you described really sounds hard on your body. I hope you will keep writing here as you work towards recovery so we can be updated on your progress. Take care:)