National Eating Disorders Association

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Last post
Zenda71
An apology to savedbygrace

Hello savedbygrace.

Yesterday you stated that my post about my husband was inappropriate and triggering. I am sorry for that and have deleted the entire thread.

I have found support here and want to express my thanks, especially to Bob, for the good counsel. I will seek assistance from my real-life therapist and friends from now on. I mistakenly thought this was a protected forum only for spouses, thus I was careless in my speech.

With gratitude and wishing you all the very best in your recovery journey. May you be well, happy, and full of joy.

Savedbygrace
Thank you

The part I was referring to was the physical description you gave of his body. Just giving you an explanation of what was triggering. Best of luck to you and your husband.

BobJ48
Zenda

I'm glad that you felt some support here - That's the main thing. If you ever feel like coming back and updating us, I'd be glad to hear how things are going.

With every best wish to the both of you,

Bob J.

Zenda71
No problem

Best wishes

Zenda71
Update

Hi all.

It’s been several years since I've posted here. Wanted to thank all again for the support. My husband has relapsed twice since my last post, and we have done two rounds of marriage counseling. After a lot of reflection and personal therapy, we decided to get divorced.

This disorder really is all-consuming. It warps people and their perception. It takes over all aspects of family life. It impairs health and the ability to have meaningful intimate relationships. It is so heartbreaking.

I wish there was more support for spouses and partners. I certainly changed myself and my life to try to help my husband… until I couldn’t do it anymore. Now I’m living my own life, free of the ED that is slowly eating him alive.

Wishing all here clarity and happiness. Thanks to the mods for providing this space for people to talk about their struggles.

BobJ48
Zenda,

Zenda,

I'm sorry that things didn't work out for the two of you. As you've seen, the mental associations between the eating situation and various aspects of a person's thinking process can be very persistent.

We can certainly wish there was more we can do to help with that, but my sense is that you've given everything that you possibly can from your side, and have taken a responsible approach.

Which is all that any of us can ask of ourselves.