National Eating Disorders Association

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Dsgusted
I don't get it

I have read so much on the internet looking for helpful advice. I have a teen daughter who has been restricting her food. She is underweight. This all is new over the summer. And really just in the last two months. No real traumas. I feel like it started when she got mad that I didn't let her switch schools. She realized she was letting her food attitude get out of hand but chose to continue because it wasn't bad enough yet. Whatever that means. Then she asked for help. I have set up a meeting with a nutritionist and have been there twice. And once to a therapist. And they very quietly encourage her to eat more. Why is no one calling her out on it? Giving her scary facts? Why would you tell her your not at anorexic level yett? Why is no one giving me info on how to implement a meal plan? Why is everyone waiting until she is in a danger zone? I am frustrated and disgusted. This is selfish. A pride issue. And I am irritated by the coddling and lack of action. I can calmly sit and wait on her to eat a set diet...but I need someone outside of the family to give me the rules. What is reasonable- What to serve. Then I would be able to simply say doctors orders- just do it. If I implement without that it will become an emotional battle of wills. I look at her and am scared for her, but I really just see stubborn pride and defiance. Is there a meal plan online somewhere? Some guidance for action to take to restore some of herb weight? I don't mind continuing therapy. But I am frustrated at how slow the process is to get going while the weight drops so quickly.

iwanttolive
Dsgusted

Hi. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. It is frustrating, but I don't think it is simple. And not necessarily a pride thing or being stubborn just to cause you grief. Being that I don't know all the details, what I do know is that when I was anorexic, I was terrified of food and of gaining any amount of weight. Being in control was the number one thing in my mind. Controlling what I ate and how much and watching the numbers go down on the scale was intoxicating. I am glad you are in therapy. Could you ask the dietician to recommend a meal plan so she doesn't slip further down and start having health complications. Can her therapist tell her what will happen if she continues to lose weight? I know you are scared, maybe angry, worried. These are all normal reactions to watching your daughter suffer and you feeling like you are not able to help her. It is positive that she is talking with a therapist. That is such a good sign. It would be good if you got help for yourself as well. I don't know why no one has told her of what could happen. She needs to hear it. But scare tactics don't work all that well. But knowing that this illness is addictive and very serious may help her understand some and cause her to want to accept the help being offered. I wish you the best and hope you let us know how things go. Take care,

iwanttolive