National Eating Disorders Association

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mrsjuliad
Helpless and scared

My daughter is 16. She has anorexia, bulimia, anxiety and self harming behaviours.
She is reclusive and refuses to talk about any of her issues. She spends her time shut in her room refusing to let anyone come in. Attempts at engaging in therapy have failed because she says she doesnt wznt to get well nor speak to anyone (except me).
The services offered have been pretty useless.
I have 5 other children....and feel quite scared, helpless and hopeless.

_admin_moderator
NEDA Hotline

Hi mrsjuliad, we're sorry to see you are having a difficult time. Eating disorders can be a very polarizing disease. As a caretaker, have you looked through NEDA's resources?: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/help/caregiversThis page also contains a Parent Toolkit, which may be helpful for you in talking to your daughter about her ED and preparing both of you for other treatment options.You can always call our NEDA Hotline for more information about speaking to your daughter and seeking treatment in your area. We are available Monday - Thursday, 9 AM - 9 PM EST and Friday, 9 AM - 5 PM at 1-800-931-2237.

iwanttolive
mrsjuliad

Hi. I am so sorry for your struggle and for your daughter's condition. My eating disorder started when I was sixteen and self harming started at eighteen. I am so sad that she is not allowing anyone to help her. She is probably very scared. She wants to protect her illness and doesn't want it to be taken away because if gives her a false sense of comfort. I know how scared my parents were and they are both nurses. To have to sit and watch one's child suffer is incredibly painful. I do hope you take a look at what NEDA has to offer and talk with them. They are very helpful and have helped me a lot over the years. I am now doing very well but it took a long time. It makes it doubly difficult because your daughter is refusing help. My parent's told me if I lost more weight they would put me in the hospital. I didn't believe them and didn't believe I was that sick. But they did follow through with their threat. I lost more weight and they had me hospitalized against my will to save my life. This happened until I was able to realize I wanted to get better and now I am doing well and am in therapy still working through what caused the eating disorder and self harming behaviors. It is so painful and I feel so much for you. I am glad you reached out for support. If you think her situation is life threatening, I would not hesitate to get her into a program. She may hate you and curse at you but more than likely it will be the eating disorder voice speaking and not your real daughter. As I said, she is probably very scared. Lonely. Doesn't understand what to do and how to reach out for help. I don't know but depression may be playing a role here too. I didn't realize how mean I was to my parent's until they told me recently. I am now fifty. Not everyone suffers for as long as I have. I was resistant to change mostly our of fear. The sooner she gets help the better the chances of her recovering are. I will pray for you and your daughter. And your family. I know how painful this is and wish I could give you a hug. So I send a virtual hug through my words. Keep in touch and post for support. Take care,

iwanttolive