National Eating Disorders Association

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Savedbygrace
Why

Can't I stop purging and restricting and using symptoms? I hate hurting myself.

iwanttolive
Savedbygrace

Hi. How did today go with the insurance people? As far as your symptom usage, I don't know what to tell you. For me I had to finally come to a point where I had to choose to stop using them because it was destroying my life. Twenty seven times in a hospital. Day programs. Therapy. I had no life. The eating disorder and self harm had become my life. I had to finally say no more. Was it easy, No. It took a while. But since making that decision, I have been free and it is a whole new life. It can be done, especially because of Jesus. I know you usually don't like to hear from me but I hate to see you suffering. You need to learn to start saying no. There is no other way out. With God strengthening you, you have to start to say no to the thoughts and behaviors. We have to choose. It can be done. I encourage you to start saying no to the tormenting voices. Listen for God's. Say no more. I choose life.

iwanttolive

Savedbygrace
Thank you

For the concern.

struggleisreal
I completely get what your

I completely get what your going through. I just went through the purging cycle and that’s why I’m currently on here writing this. I hated myself after acting on my urges. Still do while typing this. But i know that tomorrow is a new day and a new chance to get better. One mind set that my step mom(has had an ed as well) has taught me that has changed everything in my recovery is to not dwell on how your never going to purge again. You just have to get through the next minute, hour, and meal. Not say “I’m not gonna act on symptoms today”. You have to just focus on the next time you eat. That has really helped me and if you try it, I hope it helps you as well. Also keeping a physical calendar and tracking at the end of everyday if you binged/purged or restricted, to mark it on your calendar. So after a week you can see how much it takes over your life. It also tracks how it will slowly decrease and you will feel accomplished. I hope this helped. Stay strong girl.

Savedbygrace
Struggleisreal

Thank you for your response and suggestions. I will try to put the suggestions to use. Right now the eating disorder pull is so strong and I can't do it alone