National Eating Disorders Association

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Suze2
Suze2

I’m really struggling at the moment with putting on weight. I’m eating well and have accepted I need to do so and I am enjoying food apart from the fact I’m constantly eating all the time which I hate! I have to eat snacks, fortified drinks which are prescribed and meals of course. The trouble is I am putting on the weight in places that it never used to be! That sounds funny but for me it is really distressing. I’m struggling to get into clothes that I used to wear when I weighed more as well and I just don’t get why this is the case. My counsellor says because I lost so much weight, the new weight gain will just accumulate in specific areas first, settle ther and then shift! Does anyone have any experience of this? My husband tells me I’m still underweight yet I can’t get into clothes that I previously could when I weighed more and was considered healthy . It’s really causing me a lot of angst at the minute. I’m not as fit as I used to be and I only think I’m putting on ‘fat’ not muscle but my husband doesn’t like me doing too much exercise because I will burn it off. Having said that he has said I can exercise but I must eat more which puts me off doing it in the first place. Because he still doesn’t entirely trust me he watches me to check I’m eating what I should be which I hate. It causes so much stress in our relationship buts it’s my own fault really. If I don’t accept that I still need to put weight on even though I still hate how it makes me feel, bloated, and uncomfortable we’ll end up getting divorced. I’m so scared of losing him that I just eat to please him when it doesn’t really please me. I have all these lovely clothres that I can’t bear to part with even though I can’t wear them, I really need to just get rid of them! I tried selling them but clothes just don’t sell well on the internet do they?! My counsellor says I have put on weight quicker than my mind has had the chance to catch up yet! Does that make sense to anyone? I’d welcome any advice xxx

imstillgrowing
Suze2

Hi Suze. Yes, it is really common for it to accumulate in certain areas. When I started gaining weight in June all the weight gain went straight to my stomach. I felt bloated and it triggered so many urges in me. I think it's starting to even out though. However, I still have to gain more and I'm worried it'll accumulate in my stomach again. I feel the same, like I'm only gaining fat not muscle. It has been distressing to me, too. About parting with the clothes--that is hard. I know I'm going to have to part with some of my clothes soon. I've been wearing loose-fitting close for the most part but there are some jeans I'm assuming I won't fit into anymore and some shorts that I love that are feeling a little bit tighter. There is this one pair of shorts that were too small for me last summer, but then I lost weight so they fit me now. I felt so proud when I was able to fit into them again and am so sad that the day will come when I won't be able to fit in them. Luckily I have little sisters so I can give them some of my clothes, but I might give away these shorts because they remind me so much of the ED.
My dietician told me that once I'm at my set point, a lot of the ED urges will start to go away. She said it wouldn't be immediate because our brain has to catch up with our body but that it should get easier once we're at our set point. I haven't reached that yet so I haven't experienced that yet, but I'm trying to trust what she says haha!
Also, I know the annoyance of people watching what you're eating. Ugh, so frustrating! I know it's because people care (most the time) but it's still annoying!
-imstillgrowing

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