National Eating Disorders Association

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My 11yr old DD constantly body checking and self loathing

Our DD was diagnosed with Anorexia in April having very quickly lost a lot of weight and becoming obsessed with exercise.
We were referred to local child mental health support service and thankfully she has restored her weight but what she is now suffering mentally by her still being completely tormented by the anorexic voice in her head that is telling her she is fat and she is obsessed with body checking in any mirror or reflective surface (shop windows, cars etc)
We have talked about this in therapy and hid the mirrors in our house.
We are now on our summer holiday and I think we have made a stupid mistake as we have chosen a poolside and beach holiday which means she is having to wear a swim suit and sienna the first few hours of the day crippling herself and burying herself because she knows she wants to jump in the pool with her sibling but the anorexia and anxiety won’t let her.
I am trying my best to say encouraging and supportive things and sit patiently with her. Sometimes just holding her until she finds she can do it.
I am wanting to hear from any other parents who can offer words or phrases that have helped their children. It is so sad to see our girl trapped and locked in her head and we are desperate to help her.

Hi Sealfearn, welcome to the

Hi Sealfearn, welcome to the NEDA forums. We wanted to let you know we edited your post to remove specific behaviors that could be triggering to other users of this forum. Please review our Community Guidelines before posting to ensure we keep the forums a space safe for everyone: We are glad you reached out to the forums and hope you continue to post!

You're not alone.

I can't really offer any words or phrases that help because we are just starting this journey ourselves. Our daughter is 13 and a lot of the things that you are describing your daughter doing are the same things that our daughter does. She's constantly looking at herself and pinching herself and it breaks my heart. I hope she is doing a little better since you have posted this question. Just wanted you to know you are not alone.


Hi. I was just wondering how your girls are doing since last posted. I am sorry your daughters are going through this. It is good that you recognize the seriousness of the situation and are getting your daughters help. My parents got me help when I was sixteen. The sooner they get help and stop the cycle and patterns the better their chance of not having this take years to overcome. The earlier the patterns of behavior are stopped, the easier it is to break them. I think having them get counseling is a good idea, to figure out why they have turned to focus on their bodies and focus on food and weight. This is very helpful and can help them from developing full blown eating disorders. I wish the best for you and thank you for taking such good care of your daughters.