National Eating Disorders Association

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chunkymonkey68
Working, eating, and dealing with less exercise and this abdominal bloating

My stomach also tightens up on me after a meal. It begins to cramp and makes me feel extra anxious after eating a meal, or a substantial snack w/ protein in it. So then I try and accept what has just been digested, accept the Cals, control myself from taking off like a jet to exercise after a meal.

I sit with the feeling of fullness, step on my scale weekly and smile over weight gain, feel my bloated belly and push myself to accept my bloated and nourished body as it slowly gains weekly. This is how i am on a good week.

Otherwise, I am dealing w/ intermittent fasting on the days when not able to accept the feeling of fullness in my belly and must exercise or be dominated by anxiety and so I go w/ the exercise and eat a lot less some weeks of the month...This feels normal to me.

Dont know if residential treatment could ever help me. Its my head that needs to change and I must do this For Myself slowly in a safe, long-term, trusting, and confidential relationship w/ a therapist.

I miss my old shrink and think my mind is caving in and having urges to binge and be lax at times just out of not having any more therapeutic boundaries or challenges for homework.

Outpatient therapy is very important. I cant go hide in inpatient as I have Responsibilities, a steady job, and very regular bills, and rent to pay.

The cost of living here in CA, USA keeps me on my feet, and working hard to live The American Dream.

I choose Freedom and it is Definitely NOT FREE!!

iwanttolive
chunkeymonkey68

I choose Freedom and it is Definitely NOT FREE. Freedom always has a cost. Sounds like you have considered the cost and are going for it anyway. I cheer you on. Yes. You struggle. All throughout our lives we will encounter struggle. Especially those who face food struggles as we are constantly facing food and our bodies. You have a good outlook though. I am proud of you for persevering during the difficult days. Brighter days will and do come. I hope you consider finding another therapist. You may find it profoundly helpful. And help you on this quest for FREEDOM. Take this journey one day at a time. That is the only way. We are so much more than what we look like. It is the heart that matters. Being a teacher, you have a heart for children. You care about your brother. That shows patience and courage. I know it isn't easy and it is challenging. But worth the pursuit of Freedom. You can do this. Take care,

iwanttolive