National Eating Disorders Association

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livroseclarke
Give Recipe Info?

I'm currently recovering from an ED, so I know of multiple symptoms, including calorie-counting, which my sister has seemed to be very interested in lately. I am very concerned about her, and I am cooking dinner tonight, but she claims she will not eat the meal unless she knows what I am cooking (which I believe to be an attempt at finding out how much she should eat to lose weight). Should I give her the information or just deal with her cooking her own meal if she doesn't eat mine because she doesn't know its contents?

BobJ48
What next ?

Dear Livrose,

Yes, it's hard to know what perspective to take on this. But here's what I would suggest.

Are you going to pay attention to what to do about these sorts of requests regarding food details, or be looking at the bigger picture ?

I know it can feel like you are being complicit with a developing ED if you answer her calorie questions. And perhaps you are, so if it were me, I'd do what you can to not let yourself be drawn into them. I'd be more likely to take the bigger perspective, and ask her why she finds it so important to know.

Like it's so important to her that she might not even take the risk to eat what you are preparing ? That would be a little extreme, don't you think ?

So yeah, I'd be more interested in seeing if she can state why she seems to be taking that level of interest.

If then it turns into some kind of big fight…then that would be a telling thing too. Something that she might want to pay attention to herself ?

I mean really, I suspect she knows that you understand where this sort stuff can be coming from, so just blowing you off is not really going to cut the mustard. None of this "You just don't understand" stuff is going to work with you.

In any case, as I suspect you know, getting to the heart of the matter early is going to be the best thing. If she'll allow that I mean.

livroseclarke
Thank You

I'm so sorry for the really belated response, but I just wanted to let you know how truly helpful your advice was. Thank you so much.

livroseclarke
Thank You

I'm so sorry for the really belated response, but I just wanted to let you know how truly helpful your advice was. Thank you so much.