National Eating Disorders Association

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Husband With ED

I am looking for advice. For the last 18 months my husband has been on a “diet”. I have watched he go from starving himself to constantly excerscising. He weighs himself every day and goes into a down mood if the results aren’t what he wants. More recently he has had a better “diet” and I really thought that maybe things were going to be better. Tonight he joked about having an eating disorder. Later I asked him why he said that and he said he wasn’t sure about whether it was a joke or not. A friend of mine who had an eating disorder picked up the signs before I really let myself believe that it could be a possibility. She said that my husband would try to convince me he was okay when he wasn’t which I think he has successfully done. I never stop worrying about him but didn’t let myself think the worst. We have been married for only 3 weeks but have been together for 7 years. He has supported me through a lot and now it is my turn to support him. I try to talk to him about this often but he isn’t one to talk about his feelings. Tonight was the first time he really opened up and talked about that it may be possible he has an eating disorder. I asked him if he would talk to someone but he thinks we can’t afford it. Where do we go from here? How do I help him? Where can we go for help? The last 18 months have been hard watching him and not knowing if I should say something or if I should just get him help. I have had all sorts of people in our life come up to me and ask about him and if he is okay. I tell them all he is fine because I don’t want him to be bombarded by people asking questions but it has been tiring not being able to talk to anyone about this properly. I’m worried what they will think of me and how far I’ve let this go, or us as a couple and how we both seem to ignore what’s happening or him and judge because they don’t understand. There are so many more branches from this, it’s affecting our relationship but I want to make sure he is okay in himself before I worry about where it leaves us. I guess I am just looking for support for him and myself.


Have you looked around the NEDA website? There are excellent resources that might be beneficial for you.

NEDA has a helpline that has trained volunteers, who can assist.

NEDA Contact:
Helpline 1-800-931-2237
Chat at
Text "NEDA" to 741741