National Eating Disorders Association

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Need to talk but want to respect his privacy - he’s 25M, orthorexia (?)

My former fiancé/best friend got a job in another country, halfway across the world. It’s hard to talk at all now, much less find a good time to bring up food (I wouldn’t want to bother him at work, etc.).

He’s very private and doesn’t want me talking about this with just anyone (ie almost no one).

Since this forum is pretty anonymous, does anyone have a similar experience they could share with me, or want to chat?

I’m really worried about his “diets” and how he puts himself down. I know there’s not much I can do from here, I just want to talk about my fears with someone who really gets it.


You are not alone

Welcome to the NEDA Forums! This is a safe, welcoming, and supporting community. You are in the right place.

While I do not have experience being in a relationship of any kind with someone with an ED, I know how important it was for privacy and the need for secrecy regarding the ED - that was me. I hid mine for many years and did not tell anyone until it was almost to late. It's hard when the person with the ED is an adult because we can't force him to do anything. He is an adult and has to come to the decision to recover on his own.

The fact that you are staying in touch with him, trying to be a positive influence, and supporting him as best you can is something to be proud of. You are doing the best you can. The forums are a great place to ask for help, chat to others, and gain insight and perspective. You are not alone.

You can also contact NEDA. They have trained volunteers that can show you resources and information to help you cope with the situation.

NEDA Contact:
Helpline 1-800-931-2237
Chat at
Text "NEDA" to 741741