National Eating Disorders Association

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Gbsghope
Support help

Hi ,

I am approaching my wedding day to my partner and her ED is getting worse. Though she eats, it’s alwats small amounts , mostly non caloric food and after her daily gym her intake is alwats way less then her outgoing. I am afraid as we’re young the damage that’s done will affect our future plans.

I go to therapy, seen a dietician and find multiple coping strategies but with things escalating I’m not sure what I can do. I’ve tried emotional pleas however it always appears to lead to one step forward two steps back. I understand at the end of the day it has to come from her and all we can do is offer unconditional love and support, but I feel helpless and hopeless. Is there any advice or tactics people have gone through that can help?

Anything is appreciated

Adage
Hey Gbsghope. Congrats on the

Hey Gbsghope. Congrats on the engagement. I first want to recognize that this sounds like a toughie. From what I'm hearing, it sounds like the impending wedding is causing your fiance's ED to flare up. Its good to hear that you're doing your best to step up. It is much more difficult for people with EDs to recover when they don't have a robust support network. That being said, what is your bride to be's network currently like?

You mentioned that you've got a therapist and a dietician. It is usually the case that those two health professionals can do a great deal to help people with EDs recover. There are also therapists who specialize in eating disorders and a therapist can be put into contact with a client's dietician to further reinforce the support system. Of course, she could already have all of that and I could be preaching to the choir. NEDA has some resources that you might like to check out:

https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/sites/default/files/Toolkits/Par... (good for spouses too)
https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/family-and-friends
https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/what-should-i-say
https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/slips-lapses-and-relapses

These are pretty succinct so give 'em a read if you please.

I hope that helped a little. Best of luck and feel free to roam the rest of the forum.

- Adage

BobJ48
Stress and EDs.

Dear GBSG,

I suspect it's no surprise to you that her ED is getting worse as the wedding approaches. The connections between EDs and stress are pretty normal I think. But talking about EDs can be stressful as well, so things like this can be a dilemma it's true.

While there are limits to what we can accomplish, my suggestion would to see if she can talk with you about the fears she is having. Rather than talking about food or her ED habits I mean. And just listen and be sympathetic, rather than trying to convince her that "everything is going to be OK."

After all, it's probably her fears about various issues that are behind this, you know ?

Keep in touch.