National Eating Disorders Association

2 posts / 0 new
Last post
How To help a Parent

Hello I have a parent that has an history of an eating disorder and I believe that they still do. My question is how do I address it because every time I do they snapped and wont admit to it


Dear Samsung,

This is a really difficult situation alright ! As your parent's child, it's not really your job to cure them. And yet how can you not be concerned ? It's perfectly normal that you should be.

I'm not sure how old you are, but one thing I do know is that people with eating disorders can often feel huge amounts of guilt over the effect that their ED may be having on their children. So I can pretty much promise you that whatever you've said to your parent has had an effect.

And yes, if they have had an eating disorder in the past, it's not uncommon for it to show up again. Stressful times can do it alright, but sometimes if effects people when things seem OK too.

If it is coming back for your parent, or if they never got over it in the first place, I can pretty well guarantee that they know it. And that it's probably a matter of concern for them too. So yeah, no wonder they get snippy when you mention it. Although they may deny it, you are basically stating the obvious.

I'm not sure if you parent is married, but if they are, you may want to discuss your concerns with their partner. If they are single, you may want to discuss it with whatever close friend they have, if that person seems safe to talk to.

Lacking that, you may want to write her a letter. That gives you the chance to really think about what you want to say, and it can give them the chance to think about what they want to say back to you. The letter thing is a good way to avoid the sorts of interactions that can sometimes happen when the person feels startled when you confront them in person. You've already seen how that can go. Not so well, yes ?

In any case, this should not be something that you have to deal with alone. Talk with a friend of their's or something like that. And give the letter idea a try as well ?

And keep writing here if if helps. xx