National Eating Disorders Association

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Get Husband to The Help He Needs

My husband has had eating issues since we met five years ago. It was not bad, just skipping meals here and there and eating sweets instead of protein for lunch and a lot of diet soda. I have had my own issues with food and body image as well and it is a daily struggle but I know the stressors and triggers and have found ways to deal with them. I am also aware having gone through it myself, what a eating disorder looks like and I know my husband is in throws of one. He has gone from eating many small items throughout the day, to recently very little and he eats barely anything at dinner. He also has muscle issues/weakness and has constant pain in his legs and lower back, constant gas/burping and some urinary issues.

He does not see the connection between his weight loss/eating issues and current health issues. I honestly am really stuck and feel helpless do not know what to help him. I suggested counseling, but no interest. He has been to the doctor several times in the past two months for the pain and urine issues. He had tons of bloodwork done which all came back normal. I don't know how that is possible. I have gone with him to the most recent doctor's visits and am happy he at least has allowed me to do that. I wanted to say something during the appointments, but was not sure if that is allowed? I am wondering if it is legal to contact his doctor and make him aware of the situation? He had more urine and bloodwork done and may get the results tomorrow or Tuesday and will possibly talk to his doctor again. If it is not allowed (HIPPA), how else can I get him help if he does not want it? Can I force him to go to a treatment center? How do I do that? I am really scared and worried and would love any advice/support from someone who has gone through this.

Artmom I have no real advice

Artmom I have no real advice here, but I know how lonely this can feel so I thought I'd respond as I went through almost the exact same thing with my husband. My husband had an eating disorder for a long time, before we were even married and I never really understood. I knew something was off and similarly repeatedly asked for him to see a doctor and/or a counselor to no avail. I was finally able to get him to counseling by basically insisting on marriage counseling. The counselor recognized pretty quickly that he needed to come on his own. I wish I could say that was the beginning of great things, but it wasn't as eating disorders need specialists. He is finally seeing a specialist, but I essentially had to hold his dream hostage to get him to go and even now the journey is rough.

Something to keep in mind is that this is ultimately his problem and you can't make him do anything. The only choices in the situation are those you can make for yourself. It took me a long time to let go of the idea that I had to make him get better. It has to be his choice. I hope things get better for you.

Thank you

Thank you Bamoon13. Your post/replay really helped!