National Eating Disorders Association

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Silent Bulimic

I am having a really hard time. All this time I thought I was getting better and making progress towards recovery but since fall and winter and come its going in reverse. Question is how do I tell my fiance that I'm still using bulimia behaviors? I have mentioned I have been feeling withdrawn and depressed about a lot of stuff and just needing to talk to a counselor but he feels I don't need to talk to one. I feel like I do but then am I going against my fiance's wishes?

Your health is the most important

I'm sorry to hear you are taking a step back. Recovery from an eating disorder is a long haul, with steps forward and steps back. It's simply the nature of this awful beast. When the question is "How do I tell . . .?" the answer is usually tell someone honestly and straightforwardly about your situation. You have enough challenges without having to try to hide. You need someone you can trust and count on. I'm not sure how your fiance can know whether or not you need to talk to a counselor. If you feel the need, that's what counts. Hopefully your fiance will understand. There's an excellent resource here at NEDA called the Parent Toolkit, but it's not just for parents. It's for anyone in a supportive role for someone with an ED. It explains a lot of concepts and offers good advice. Maybe you and your fiance can look at it together. You can access it here:

Helpful resource

Hi spaceyandsweet82! I’m sorry to hear that you are having a hard time lately. It's very important to be honest with yourself and make sure you prioritize your health and well-being. It can be difficult sometimes, especially when you aren't sure how others may react to you seeking help, but hopefully your fiance will understand.

If you are interested speaking to someone about seeking professional help or tips on how to talk to your fiance, The NEDA Helpline may be able to help out! If you want to speak to someone, give them a call at 800-931-2237 M-TH 9AM-9PM EST and F 9AM-5PM EST. I hope you find the support you are looking for!