National Eating Disorders Association

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Eating a lot?

Sometimes I have no problems with eating. I can eat something without weighing and measuring it and I won't think about how much I eat and sometimes it just feels like I keep eating and eating and eating and can't stop. That's actually part of how my ED developed in the first place, I have no control when it comes to eating and so because I had no control I just decided it would be easier to stop eating all together. Since the fire my eating habits have changed. First it was out of necessity or the fact that I didn't have control over what I ate, but now it's more a habit. I find that I can eat more now and I do eat more, but when I notice my body changing, I freak out. I start engaging in behaviors but the weight doesn't come off which just makes my anxiety worse. I haven't replaced my scale yet and I know that at least part of the reason I've been gaining weight and not freaking out as much as I normally would is because I don't have a scale, but I'm not the only one in the family that uses a scale I think my parents are going to get one today or tomorrow because of all the online sales. I don't know what to do. My brain is telling me that because I can gain weight and am eating that I'm totally fine to have and use a scale, and that I could in fact lose a few pounds and still be at the weight my doctor wants me to be at, but part of me also thinks that my ED didn't get bad until I got the scale. I just don't feel sick anymore because I'm consuming so much food but I can't tell if I am or not

See a dietician and work on meal planning

Also many gyms have personal trainers to help you think of other things to do besides staying home and eating , as you mentioned, sometimes out of nerves, or even emotions. My gym was a saving grace for me during the time i needed the most structure and to get a grip on not over eating. now i take walks when i have time in my busy schedule, now that i am actually busy and have more to do than eat at home all day...Good luck, also seeing a therapist helped me a lot and journaling too.

I have a few questions

I don't want you to feel obligated in any way to answer these questions and I don't want to trigger anyone so I won't be upset or offended at all if you just choose to ignore this, but what type of ED do/did you have? I have a restrictive type ED so I get the feeling that my version of overeating and a high calorie intake is different to what is actually considered overeating/high calorie intake. I know that my so called "binging" is my body's reaction to me starving myself, but I'm quite small in stature and I have injuries that affect how much and how intensely I can exercise so I don't actually need the same amount of calories as a woman of average height. That's where my recovery gets tricky; I need to consume more calories but not too much more, I need to exercise to help my injuries but I'm afraid of overexercising. Also, how did you get to your therapist? Did your doctor refer you or did you just find one that your insurance covered? Since I'm at a healthy weight and my BMI is where my doctor wants it to be, I'm not sure my insurance would cover a therapist that specializes in eating disorders. Sorry for the length of the post and bombarding you with questions. Again, don't feel obligated to answer the questions, the last thing I would want is to trigger someone or make them uncomfortable.

To be honest

I can't say whether you are eating too much or not. That question is best asked to a nutritionist, doctor or other professional.