National Eating Disorders Association

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iwanttolive
s.bower

Hi. I hope I have your user name correct. Things had gotten really out of control with my sister and culminated in her shoving me around. To make a long story short, instead of her moving miaout, we will be seeing our pastor tomorrow for regular counseling. I think we both have a lot of pain from the past and it is interfering with us today. We love each other. Unfortunately, I fell hard from the constant stress and I self harmed several times. I am not going to self harm again, with my Saviors help.

Thank you for your concern. I have dysthymia which is a constant low level depression but I also have major depression. I am in the middle of a major depression, and being harassed by my sisters didn't help. So again, thank you for reaching out.

How are things going for you? How did Thanksgiving go? I tried to have everyone go around the table and say one thing they were thankful for, I went first and no one else said anything. Oh well. So much for the spirit of Thanksgiving. I am trying to get back on track. Wish I never fell but I did, I own it and will move forward from here. Hope you have a nice evening.
iwanttolive

s.boewer
Hello- I think you're

Hello- I think you're reaching out to me but you got my name a little wrong! Sounds like you are taking the important steps with your sister to get that situation under control, but you really should't have to be harassed by anyone. I'm sorry that nobody else could join you in stating what they are grateful for at Thanksgiving, that sucks. I work at a homeless shelter and served Thanksgiving dinner to our residents. It was nice but I didn't eat anything and am in the middle of a starvation issue at the moment...ugh. I wish you the best of luck with your sister, keep me posted.

iwanttolive
s.boewer

Hi I think I got it right this time!!!! Things are changing by the moment with regards to my sister. She will be moving into my parent's house for a month and will go for individual therapy. Then we will go together. We really love each other. We want things to work out.

I am glad that you are reaching out to a homeless shelter. That is wonderful. You said you are inn the middle of a starvation state, what exactly does that mean? Are you eating at all? What about the energy it takes to do all you do in a day?

Yea, I wish my family would have said at least one thing that they were/are thankful for. I hope you get the help you need. Please get the help. You are worth getting help. No matter what anyone has told you, you are worthy of getting help. You are deserving of getting help. Please think about it. As my memory is so bad, I do not remember if you are in therapy. But maybe giving that a try?

Take care and take care of yourself.
iwanttolive

London1621
Hi

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, I hope you will be okay soon. Lots of hugs.

s.boewer
Thanks

Hi- Thanks for the supportive words, it means a lot. I don't know how I get the energy to make it through my day honestly, as I eat on Mondays and then starve for the rest of the week. I had a therapist but had to stop seeing her due to an insurance change, but I will look for a new one soon. I don't know how to stop this cycle that I'm in because I'm too afraid to gain weight now that I am at a size where I feel comfortable with myself for once... ugh... I think I'm just exhausted really. Good luck with your sister, it sounds like you both want to heal and have a lot of love for one another. I hope that your situation works out for you:) Take care, s.boewer

lovetowrite81
S.Boewer

Hi S.Boewer,
Just wanted to check in with you and see how you're doing? I have been thinking of you. I'm sorry you are going through a difficult time. Any progress on looking for a new therapist?
<3 We're here for you, keep us posted.

s.boewer
Thanks

Hi- Thanks for the concern and care, I appreciate it. I am still struggling with the pattern of starving all week and eating on Mondays and it sucks. I haven't found a new therapist yet and I think that I'm procrastinating on that for some reason. My big dilemma is that I am thinking of going back to law school after a significant time off, but I worry that my brain is not as sharp as it once was and I won't be able to handle the challenge... ugh. I really want to get my Master of Law degree, more than anything I'e ever wanted and this ED is standing in the way of my success. Anyway, I'm hanging in there and taking it day-by-day at this point:)