National Eating Disorders Association

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hermione3
Pot luck, no scale , moving

Trashed my scale but feeling lost without it... trying to follow my meal plan and make the right steps I have journaled everyday since I saw my therapist and have been following my meal plan it's hard but I have to do the work. I have to gain my weight back before I have my wisdom teeth out my nutritionist said and I am moving soon enough and my therapist wants me to have eating disorder under more control...i had a pot luck today at work and I actually tried some food it felt like a lot because it was a bit more then I normally have so it makes me feel gross and too full but it was probably a normal meal my coworker was like that's not that much...

julesthefox
Go you!!

Congratulations! Trashing the scale is hard, and you finally did it! That's an amazing accomplishment! You should be so proud! It sounds like you made a couple amazing steps today. I'm so happy for you and that you're working so hard to be rid of this once and for all. Your future self thanks you!
I know it's hard when things change, but stay strong. You are so right! It probably was a normal meal. You are not what you eat. And you are not a number. You are you. What you do, what you feel, what you believe, and what you accomplish. And you are accomplishing a ton. You can do it. I believe in you.
Lots of love and hugs,
Julesthefox

hermione3
Thanks for the support it was

Thanks for the support it was so hard to trash it but i did it. I am trying now really putting the effort in my therapist said i have to do the work. so i am doing the work i am going to journal some and i just ate dinner a normal dinner not to make up for what i ate earlier which was probably a normal meal. I even treated myself to something I like drink today. so lots of things today.

julesthefox
It brings me so much hope and

It brings me so much hope and joy to her that you were able to treat yourself with so much kindness and respect. You deserve this, and I can tell you really are putting in the effort. You can do this, and you can be free. You are making huge steps! You should be incredibly proud. You are so amazing and strong. I KNOW your therapist is beyond proud of and happy for you too.
Keep it up and lots of love,
Julesthefox

hermione3
Thanks I see my therapist

Thanks I see my therapist today I will tell her all I said here and I am sure she will be proud I know I am late to the game on effort but since Saturday and my talk with my therapist I have been really trying and knowing she wants me doing better when I move. She doesn't want it to be a big thing then I have to get on track eating too so getting on track now. I ate my whole meal plan yesterday!

lovetowrite81
Hermione3

Hermione! This is such an amazing stride forward! I'm so proud of you for trashing the scale. I know that has been something that you have been contemplating but struggling to do for so many months- so this is amazing. And you ate your whole meal plan yesterday! Let me know how your meeting with your therapist went/goes- I'm sure she will be so proud as well. It is so clear how much effort you are putting in towards your recovery. Keep up the awesome work <3

iwanttolive
hermione3

Hi!!! That is fantastic news. But I am sure not easy. It will get easier as time goes by and you begin to feel the freedom of not having the scale tell you what to feel, what to eat or not eat, etc. Very proud of you. And making efforts towards following a meal plan.. You are doing a lot of difficult work but you will thank yourself in time. Keep it up!!!)))

iwanttolive

hermione3
Thank you for the support. I

Thank you for the support. I hope it is good in the end it probably is because i am following my meal plan because i can't see the number and i know i have to gain and i twas never going to happen with the scale so i see my nutritionist Friday I hope it goes well. i don't want to gain but i have to for my health. my doctor also said this is not a healthy weight for me so i know its not so we will see.

hermione3
Thanks for the encouragement.

Thanks for the encouragement. the meeting with my therapist went well she was super proud of me for journaling everday and following my meal plan. she told me with the holidays coming up and all my issues surrounding that I need to take better care of myself not worse and i need to realize i am punishing my body for things people did to me...i blame my body for certain reactions and so i feel my body betrayed me and i hate it so it is so much deeper then weight and food...

Savedbygrace
You're not alone

I, too, blame my body for betraying me and being the cause of abuse I suffered. Congratulations on sticking with your meal plan and journaling. It's hard for me to focus long enough to get out my thoughts.

hermione3
sorry you feel that way too.

sorry you feel that way too. My therapist told me to try to really think about why i am doing what i am doing which is really punishing my body when i should not be. she didn't ask for answers just we talked about my hatred of my body no matter what size because it never really matters. i can be my lowest weight and hate myself and body she knows this i am trying to see the connection of my body betraying me to me hating my body but it makes sense...

lovetowrite81
Hermione3

Hi Hermione-
Just wanted to check in and see how your weekend has been going? I think your insight is interesting-- that you can recognize that regardless of your weight, if that underlying belief about yourself & your body remains, you will never reach a place that you are satisfied with your body. Reaching healing in those areas is what is going to bring lasting recovery, not simply will-power to stop behaviors. Keep walking the path <3

hermione3
thanks for the support. my

thanks for the support. my weekend has been ok i saw my therapist and nutritionist and well i gained so i guess that is good but my nutritionist says i have a lot to make up...but my therapy appointment went well we talked about a lot of things some difficult. my therapist help me come to that insight about my body and why i will never be happy with it or ok...but also this weekend i bought new furniture for my apartment which is exciting i have to be healthier to move in my therapist and nutritionist want me eating better before i move in so working hard i am following my meal plan its difficult...