National Eating Disorders Association

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Melissaah
feeling miserable

I've been so miserable with this eating disorder. Like I said I would never leave my son behind without a mom, but there are days I just don't know what else to do. I feel like if I continue to gain weight I'm going to lose it.

als2908
Melissaah, I’m sorry to hear

Melissaah, I’m sorry to hear you are struggling. I want you to know that no matter how low you feel, you have worth and value in this world. I am glad to hear that you are not thinking of harming yourself - but if you ever being to feel that way or feel the need to reach out, please call the Suicide Hotline at 800-273-TALK. Are you seeing a therapist or considered treatment for the disorder? It really sounds like could use some help. It’s ok to ask for help, there is no shame in it. I encourage you to call the NEDA Helpline Monday-Thursday from 9:00 am - 9:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am - 5:00 pm (EST) at 1-800-931-2237 to learn about different treatment options in your area. And please continue to reach out here. Stay strong and courageous!

banannaomi
Use your son ?

Hey Melissaah, I should preface this post by saying that I have never been a mother to someone and am not quite the age where that would even be appropriate; so our situations are surely different in important ways. But I can still relate to the feeling of your post, strongly. It's a feeling of terror, some defeat, and ultimate frustration; and I'm so sorry that you are feeling that way.
You mention that you would never leave your son behind without a mom - have you ever 'used' your son for motivation to recover from your eating disorder before? One of my close friends got through her first treatment/recovery by 'using' her sister as her prime motivation for sustained health and happiness, and it really helped her. If you haven't already, you might benefit from considering how your eating disorder/recovery from it affects your son. It's kind of like: if you don't have the strength to recover for your own self yet, search for strength in someone else's welfare. That approach can give a lot of people the sturdy push they need to keep going with recovery.

Just a thought! You seem to love your son very much, so I thought he might be a good source of recovery motivation.
Wishing you better days and better feelings. <3
Anna Naomi

joy_rocks
Anna Naomi is totally right.

Anna Naomi is totally right. I "use" my work and goals in life to get through. I tell myself that I want to finish college and work for others so much that if I go down the wrong track than I have to get back up again.

stormy
Hi again Melissaah!

Hi again Melissaah!

I'm glad to see that you are utilizing the NEDA forums for support throughout your recovery. Everyone here cares about your recovery and wants you to be happy and healthy! I'm with als2908 on this one, too. If you ever feel depressed and low, please contact the Suicide Hotline and/or the NEDA Helpline. Speaking from experience, it makes a WORLD of difference just talking about your feelings out loud to someone you trust who listens, responds, and is compassionate. The world seems less dark and scary knowing someone is there.

Please continue to post on the forums and keep us updated!

Brody803
Im a mom too.................

Im a mom too.................. I haven't felt the level you are , but just reaching out to say..........we are here................ keep posting... hoping we can figure this out all together

Melissaah
Thanks Brody. I'm doing much

Thanks Brody. I'm doing much better mentally. That day was just a really bad day mentally. Ed was very loud and I just wanted it to stop

nyk454
Proud of the fight you're putting up

Melissaah,

It's definitely hard to keep up the hard work. Thanks for keeping us updated on your progress. Even though there are rough patches, its inspiring to see you make your efforts and express what you're dealing with. As als2908, please don't forget to use the resources NEDA has in times of need!

NEDA is here to support you during the evolving COVID-19 outbreak. The health of our community, especially those who are most vulnerable to the virus' serious complications, remains paramount. To access resources that can provide free and low-cost support, please click here.

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