National Eating Disorders Association

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hermione3
Family issues just never ends

So just new drama... my brother I guess is leaving is now ex fiancé where he was living since all the drama started with him and well moving out of state and in with my grandpa so he can start over like what... my dad knows nothing so can I blame him for helping his son but my mom does know but feels my dad can't handle it they are all being protected when I have to deal with the flashbacks and nightmares everyday it makes me feel like they are choosing him when contact was supposed to be cut off...I knew I didn't trust they weren't but they are telling me Fourth of July my therapist told me because they emailed her about it and she felt we should start dealing with how I feel now she said I should say something or not see them it is fake and lies I found out last night and saw them and they know this and it's just like lies ...my dad won't be home when my mom tells me is that to protect my dad from me saying something. They have just handled all of this wrong. It's just getting exhausting. I can't even anymore. I should say something or not see them as much my therapist said so idk it's difficult she agrees I shouldn't be the one who has to say something but it just is what it is. I am sad and angry

London1621
Hugs

I'm sorry you are having a hard time. I really hope it will be ok soon for you. Lots of hugs.

lovetowrite81
Hermione3

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this as well. Your feelings of sadness and anger are completely valid. Do you find that anything helps you to cope with these extreme emotions? It all does sound exhausting. But you are strong and I know you will continue to keep fighting. We are here for you. I hope you are able to get some mental rest this weekend <3

hermione3
Thanks for the support it's

Thanks for the support it's difficult and just I don't even know anything anymore and if I should just stand up to my parents. I don't know I am going to say when my mom tells me. Really I just mostly go to sleep because I work all day and am exhausted and get worse emotionally so my therapist tells me to just go to sleep and end my day and so I take my meds it's not the best but better than other things. I restricted the past two days which isn't great I want the number to just be what it was last time I saw my nutritionist...stupid as I am supposed to gain idk the point but it is something I feel I can do. I am still trying it's just complicated...

Savedbygrace
How are you feeling today?

I'm sorry about all the family drama. It sucks when one of your parents doesn't do anything to protect or help you.

hermione3
Thanks for the support. It's

Thanks for the support. It's difficult to not have the emotional support from my family I feel betrayed they were not supposed to help him anymore when all the drama began that was the deal. In the email my dad sent he basically thanked my therapist because I have grown up a lot I do owe it to her she says I did the work. My choices were lose the life I do have now or go to treatment I slipped up a lot but getting back on track. I have support from my treatment team and that helps a lot they do care I may pay them but they have been there through it all with me and do what they can for me above and beyond especially my therapist.

hermione3
update so fake with my family

update so fake with my family they are lying to my face I know information they are not telling me yet and i am just being how i am nice and taking care of their cat and fish while away and its just frustrating to feel like they are lying and also doing something that is so unfair to my situation and making me feel they don't care that i was abused ever i mean my mom knows about my brother but my dad knows about my other abuse and its liek so you think that my brother looking at child pornography is ok so you think what happened to your daughter is ok is how it seems although it seems he thinks he is innocent...my mom i think doesn't want my dad to know so my brother has no help but like i said i was told he was not going to get help from the. helping him move to my grandfathers seems like help...

lovetowrite81
Hermione3

I'm so sorry you are going through this. That must be so incredibly frustrating and hurtful. I can totally understand how you would interpret the situation as your parents not caring about the abuse you have endured- but I can imagine they must be going through a lot of complex, conflicting feelings about everyone in the family and are just unsure of how to handle it all as well. Not to make any excuses for their actions but just to give different perspective. I hope you know that regardless of how others act or what they say, your abuse was NOT okay. It is not your fault. You did not deserve it. I am so glad you have your treatment team as such consistent support, that is wonderful! <3 I hope your week goes alright, my friend.

hermione3
Thank you for the support I

Thank you for the support I left my therapist like 3 messages the other night that were me angry and then I was just sad last night. She called me back last night and we talked it's not an easy situation. By no means are my parents handling it well they haven't this whole time. I am tired and trying so hard and have not self harmed and am doing my best eating it's just frustrating because I don't know I want to give in. My therapist said she is proud of me for feeling extreme emotions and not self harming. I just am tired and it's all just exhausting and emotional it's just a lot

lovetowrite81
Hermione3

It is understandable that there would be anger, sadness, a mix of complex emotions that you are left to work through. That totally makes sense that you are so mentally exhausted. I am so proud of you for resisting self-harm and restricting even if you have felt the urge to. You are so brave <3

hermione3
so ended up talking to my

so ended up talking to my parents about the situation said what i had to say still feel like crap they did reacted as i should have expected`they say his mental health is not good so like i admitted to what he did and its like they still don't hear it my therapist didn't want to play middle man so she told them to talk to me. my dad texted her to see if she got the email i think they are mad at her but oh well she said she treats me not them. they reacted well how i knew and it still hurts i am not sure if it feels worse but it doesn't feel better at all... it feels about the same they just don't understand anything or how to help me they thought it would make me relieved he was leaving it does and it doesn't because my mom made a what tdo you want him dead comment i am not like that...i don't want the worse ijust don't want to talk to him or see him...i am just tired and emotional...

lovetowrite81
Hermione3

Good for you for exercising the courage to talk to your parents about the situation- even if their reaction wasn't helpful. I'm so sorry they are just not handling any of this well. I'm proud of you for continuing to persevere through all of this <3 I know you will keep leaning into the support of your therapist in this difficult time.

hermione3
Thank you it has been

Thank you it has been difficult. My therapist is being wonderful and is proud of me and has said I have grown so much . I am getting out having a life doing everything I can I am doing all the work . I want to restrict and self harm automatically but am trying she said I always try but I used to see happiness in nothing and couldn't even conceive of it but she knows I am still in pain and hurting but it makes sense. She says I have been through a lot but am acting like a survivor not a victim so she is proud of me.

Savedbygrace
Congratulations!!!!

Being a survivor myself, I know how amazing it is when we are able to work through the hell we survived, whatever that may be. Good job!!!!

hermione3
thanks still working through

thanks still working through it all but it's weird to hear that because I don't believe it ...