National Eating Disorders Association

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naomi.jayne
Expressing my feelings

I just need to get this off my chest. I've been quite distressed for the past 3 days. I found out my best friend is suffering from an eating disorder, the way she spoke 'i deserve to starve myself' 'i hate my body' 'i think I'm fat' i don't deserve to eat' absolutely broke my heart. I was in shock and last night I just broke down in tears. I hate knowing this life threatening illness is destroying her and i couldn't see it. The day after she told me, she didn't eat a snack or lunch at school and I just felt so on edge knowing why she wasn't eating. I would never tell her this but not a minute has gone by over the past 3 days that i haven't thought about her "i wonder if she had lunch today" "i hope she's eating" and it's killing me too. But i can't show her i'm breaking from this because I have to be strong for her. I have a school formal coming up and i'm so paranoid she won't eat her meals and I have no idea what to say if she doesn't? Do i just say "did you try this? It's good, give it a go" or what? I'm just so lost. :(

surikaye
naomi.jayne

naomi.jayne,

Thanks so much for reaching out- you are clearly a caring, devoted, and responsible friend. Watching your friend suffer like that can be such painful, emotionally draining experience.

That raises two concerns: your friends well being, and yours.

As for your friend, she is clearly in need of professional help if she is not yet receiving it. Although she seems to be struggling with food intake, an eating disorder is so much more complex than that, and she must be in a tremendous amount of emotional pain as well. Perhaps you can contact the Neda helpline for further guidance on how to ensure that your friend is getting the help that she needs. The number is 1800-931-2237 and they an be reached Monday-Thursday 9:00-9:00 pm and Friday 9:00-5:00 pm EST.

As for your own wellbeing, check out the following link for the neda parents-family-freinds network. I hope you will find this helpful and supportive.

https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/parent-family-friends-network

Good luck handling this situation and know that your support and encouragement can go a very long way!

Surikaye