National Eating Disorders Association

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craigyb1981
ex girlfriend with bulimia

I have no Idea on where to start with this. Although my ex and I dont speak any more and we left on bad terms , I think about and worry about her every day. Before we broke up I was looking into therapists and emailing some and I emailed her mother. She already knew about the situation but I felt I needed to say something as she went to hospital a couple months before because she wouldnt stop throwing up , I didnt tell her this but just wanted her to be aware. I also got told to do this by a therapist that I was emailing. In the end of it I was told by her and her mother that it was just about me trying to seem good, which I have to say is a bit true but I still think about it everyday and worry and I dont want her suffering by herself. I dont think I can do any more as I think it i will just make it worse. In saying that if anyone has any advice?

PianoGirl
Hi craigyb1981,

Hi craigyb1981,

You're right, that's a hard situation. I can understand why you're still feeling concerned, and I don't think that means you're just trying to seem good.

One option is just to let her know that you are still concerned and you support her journey to getting better, and maybe that you're there to listen if she ever needs some support... but if you didn't end up on good terms, that may or may not be appropriate - it's up to you! Either way, it makes sense that this is distressing to you. It might take some time to move on from the process of helping someone recover, which is certainly a lot to hold. Good luck!

Erin_Patricia1
Checking in!

Hi craigyb1981!

I was just checking in with you since you posted on the forum over the weekend. The situation with your ex-girlfriend sounds like an extremely difficult situation to cope with. I do agree with PianoGirl in that it's entirely up to you and what you want to do moving forward. It's hard to know what exactly is the right thing to do in situations like this. I feel like there's no "right answer." You just have to do what you think is best for both you and her.

If you want a little more support and privacy in talking about this, you can call the NEDA Helpline phone number. It's 1-800-931-2237. You always have a listening ear here on the forums, as well. Let us know how you are doing! I wish you the best of luck!

Erin_Patricia1