National Eating Disorders Association

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Ed changed his method of attack. Advice?

I struggle with EDNOS.
I used to struggle with annorexic tendencies. I would eat minimally and exercise excessively and had a general fear and idea of myself as overweight. I then went into full recovery, at least what I perceived as full recovery. I ate healthily and regularly, exercised moderately, and maintained a pretty positive image of myself. I began to truly accept and embrace myself as imperfect, and it felt amazing. Lately, I have found that Ed is using my recovery tactics against me and I am switching to struggling with uncontrolled eating rather than intuitive eating. As is identified as "counter Ed" in the book "life without ed" I hear voices saying, "Eat more. Eat more sugar and sweets. You'll feel recovered. Eat this..." even when I'm not hungry. I'll eat things really fast and then feel the same guilt that I felt when I struggled with annorexic tendencies. My once restrictive attitude towards food is now turning into a more obsessive attitude towards food. It feels like a complete shift to me, but I know they are related. I know it is all Ed and that ed is now just trying to take a different approach. I am wondering if anyone has anything to say about this, advice or ideas on how to counter Ed when I'm used to countering restrictive rather than compulsive attitudes towards food.

eghall
You're smarter than Ed thinks you are

First of all, I am impressed with how much knowledge you have about Ed's tactics. Life with an eating disorder can be, for many, a span of hills and valleys. One point you may feel under the control of Ed, and then a little while later, you feel accepting of yourself. That's not unusual for the path of an eating disorder.

Also, it's not unusual is for Ed to change his tactics (one of the reasons why so many can relate to Jenni Schaefer!). He just wants to be in control one way or another! My question is: Have you received any professional help? As the NEDA website states, "Sustained recovery requires careful planning, and a team approach."

Again, Ed feels he can come in and go out as he pleases and he will take on whatever form gets your attention. It may be beneficial for you to talk to a professional about tackling Ed for good.

Thank you for your support

Thank you for your support and your suggestion! I have been in counseling but it has been a long time since I've gone. I just called again to go back for a check-up. It's just so weird to feel like I swung from one to the other so fast, like Ed's using my recovery completely against me to try to come bac in on the other side.
Thank you again for your suggestion.

eghall
So proud of you!!!

I am SO happy to hear you picked up the phone and called your therapist! As you already understand, that can be a hard step and YOU DID IT. Ed will use anything he can to stay in your life. Recovery can sometimes feel like 2 steps forward, 1 step back but you are worth the fight and you can live a life of full recovery!! Please keep us updated on how you are!!