National Eating Disorders Association

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Savedbygrace
Do I

Sound respectful when I stand up for myself on here?

iwanttolive
Savedbygrace

Hi there,

I believe you do sound respectful for the most part. Sometimes I think you get frustrated in your responses and expect negative responses and can be a little over reactive but the stuff that is put out is a bit harsh and difficult to deal with. I think it is difficult to know where this individual is coming from. Where in life she is. What her condition is. Why she says what she does. It does sound a little off a lot of the times but I believe she is trying. She just doesn't know how to go about it. You have asked for boundaries and are trying to let this individual know that her responses are causing you harm. So I guess my question is why do you read them? I know curiosity is a tough one. When someone sends nasty e-mails or phone messages we know we shouldn't listen to them because it will only cause harm but we just HAVE to listen anyway. I think it would be in your best interest to just not read the posts. I hope I made sense in this reply. I think you have a good heart in wanting to know if you are sounding respectful. I hope this helps.. iwanttolive

Savedbygrace
I'm not really sure exactly why I read these responses

I think part of it is, as I thought about my abusers, maybe she's changed and her responses will be more gentle and more respectful. I guess I give people too many chances. It's hard not to pay attention to words that are right in front of me. I know I can sound frustrated, and I do censor a lot of how these responses make me feel. Another part of it is I kept quiet about past abuse and just bottled up how the abuse and mistreatment from others made me feel. I am just starting to use my voice after 35 years of staying quiet. I hope this gives understanding into why certain things that are said to me make me feel.

iwanttolive
Savedbygrace

Hey, I can see why you want to say something and think you should and I think it is great that you are. I think It should continue for you to stand up. You have done it with me. It hurts some because I am only trying to help but if it doesn't help you I need to know that. So I change what I am saying. How can anyone know if somethin is said bothers you if you don't like it unless you let them know?

So it is good practice. To learn to give positive feedback when someone is giving you feedback that is not what you need or want. Not just here but in life in general.

I wanttolive

Savedbygrace
I'm

Sorry for when I've hurt you, but I'm glad you are honoring my right to speak out.

iwanttolive
Savedbygrace

Absolutely no problem. Honesty in any relationship is vital to a healthy realthy relationshp. I am glad you are learning to take risks as you probably never learned to as a child. It taks practice to learn balance and I thonk think you are doing a good job.

As for me I had a talk with my sister and things are okay as of tonight. My car was totalled but I didn't need an appraiser to tell me that. My blood pressure is extremely low. 77/44 tonight. I have to have a bunch of tests done. My sister has POTS and dysnomia which affect the heartvand regulates blood pressure and is very disabling. If that is what iscgoing on I won't be able to drive again.

All that being said, my friend, my dietician, gas released me from her services this week after two years. Still symptom free!!!!! So good night. Keep up with your hard on your journey. Recovery IS. Possible.