National Eating Disorders Association

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iwanttolive
Depressed, lonely, bored and no appetite

Hi. I am feeling sorry for myself right now. Dealing with loss. My very good friend is moving away. I am stuck in the house a lot due to the fact that I am not able to drive yet. My sister is a tyrant. An upcoming wedding where three out of my four sisters will be and they never liked me and aren't involved in my life. The one who lives with me tells my older sister who lives on the west coast things about me I am sure, that put me in a bad light. I am afraid of my sister and her anger and passive aggressive behavior.

I got an excellent review, annual, that even impressed me. I received 95% excels instead of meets standards. Never have I gotten such a review before. That made me happy.

I am not feeling like restricting but sincerely do not have an appetite. It is only 7pm and I just want to take some sleeping meds to go to bed early but if I do that I will not sleep well. I just don't want to be so bored. I will do a Bible study and that will help.

I am nervous about the upcoming wedding, a month away. Sharing a hotel with my sisters. I will be in a room with my Aunt, who is really like a sister to me and my other friend who will most likely spend her time with the other sisters. She is considered to be family. I am hurting emotionally. Before I would be using behaviors but won't go back down that road. It is a wrong way turn. Guess just looking for some support.

Thank you for listening. Right now I just want to cry.

Savedbygrace
Sorry to hear

That you're feeling this way. It's never fun or easy to deal with hard times and difficult people. I will be praying for you. Good job on not using symptoms.

iwanttolive
Savedbygrace

Thank you for reaching out to me. I don't know what to do. I know I need to pray. I think I will do that now and do my Bible study now too. Thanks for caring..

London1621
Hugs

I'm sorry that you are having a hard time. Sending you lots of hugs to help you to be ok.

Shiyon
I don't see any other reasons

I don't see any other reasons than hate, jealousy or having issues with oneself for doing such things. All in all it's your sister and she should love you for what you are and for what you are not. Irritations and argues are normal, but she's even trying to convince other people that you're something worse. You're too good for her. You give her love and she gives you rejection. That toxic relation between both of you won't bring you anywhere. It only will bring you pain.

Don't even pay attention to the words spoken by your sister. They are lies and you know it. She makes you feel so bad, even to that point that you have no, or just small appetite. If someone makes you cry, that person is not worth it.

Please be well

iwanttolive
Shlyon

Thank you for ypur support. It means a lot to me. There is not a lot I can do but dismiss the verbal and emotional attacks.

Shiyon
I sometimes have a similar

I sometimes have a similar situation with my mother. There's not much we can do but never lose hope. Someday you can move out and forget about the bad past.

iwanttolive
doing better

Thank you to all who responded to my post. I am doing better but it is very difficult not being able to drive. Nov. 7th is the day I take my evaluation. The depression is a bit better and I am learning how to deal with my sister. She still spends upwards of twenty-three hours in her room in bed. She comes out from time to time, to use the restroom or mix her drink. I am learning that if I respond to her it feeds the fire. So, if I am holding the door open for her, we went to my nieces birthday and amazingly she went, when I unlocked the door she refused to enter. I said just go in and she again repeated I've got it. I said just go in. She mumbled something under her breath and walked in. I learned from my friend that I should have let the door close, walk in and be done with it. It gives her more power over me to not walk in at my kind gesture and if I don't fight it, she doesn't win and I can have peace.

Anyways, just letting you all know that I am feeling better emotionally. Thanks for any prayers that were sent out. Take care, have a pleasant evening, and remember, say one nice thing about yourself today, something you did or said or a positive body experience. One step, equals two steps. Don't forget to give yourselves a pat on the back for even small improvements. iwanttolive

Shiyon
That's splendid that you're

That's splendid that you're doing better. Keep up the positive attitude and don't let your sister drag you down. You'll be able to drive soon and so you'll forget about all those negative emotions surrounding you right now. You are amazing and worth a good life! x