National Eating Disorders Association

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hermione3
depressed...

I am depressed and just got back on track with following my meal plan i was really off for a few weeks and lost weight and gained just a little back so not where i should be yet but at least i didn't lose and get in trouble. or my therapist doesn't believe i ate 100%. I am depressed and have been and my therapist who did not see me Saturday we had a phone session her car wouldn't start so she didn't see me but even my nutritionist said i looked blah and like last time i saw my psychiatrist she said i looked not great but that was due to restriction and stuff...but i have been feelign off and feel unheard by my therapist she said i need to work on internal things not external because that is not helping i don't know what internal things there are she feels i am not doing the work...i said what think positive so i am supposed to think positive. i feel it is hard when i am so low my psychiatrist even suggested i think about ECT. i feel unheard by my therapist who i am super close to that i am depressed it is hard to think and see the positive. i feel its not my fault its not just doing the work i am just really low. its so complicated i see her Tuesday i am going to try to tell her that i feel unheard is that bad?

iwanttolive
hermione3

Hi. I saw your post from yesterday and you were saying you depressed. I was wondering how today went and tonight? I am sorry your therapist isn't responding to your needs and isn't understanding how you are feeling and is not giving you the support you need. You should absolutely tell her you feel unheard and maybe have a plan of what you want her to hear and understand written out before you see her so you are not nervous when you meet with her. The journey is difficult but recovery is real, people do recover, fully, from this illness. It is happening with me as I am in my seventh month of not using behaviors, self harm, binging or restricting. I actually heard a teaching in church yesterday and was convicted because I own a scale. I came home, went to my parent's home and got a box top and took a hammer to the scale. It was a glass scale. I had to hit it at least nine times with the hammer, first the frame broke and finally it shattered into hundreds of little pieces. This was representative to me of how "ED" wants to control us and doesn't want to let its victims. Persistence and determination, GOD, the will, and help and support are so important for the recovery process. I had over twenty hospitalizations, IOP, half-way houses. Most for the eating disorder but I could not stop self harming. But I give God the praises that it has been seven months since the last time I did anything. I hope this offers you Hope and to know that you too can recover.

As a suggestion, when making personal affirmations I believe it is important that you believe what you are saying. Find things that you like about yourself. That you have accomplished. It is my personal belief that if you say something to yourself about yourself that you don't believe, it can be difficult to feel better. Others believe "fake it until you make it".

I do hope you are feeling a little better. Take care, iwanttolive