National Eating Disorders Association

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1Bluerose68
Currently Experiencing Full Fledged Symptoms of my ED/EDNOS

I’ve been using unnatural ways to steady my body's over payment of water into my precious system and Big Time rebelling by over doing it a tad w/ my use, ahhhh???
So now beginning to feel very exhausted and some of the side effects of ED that I read about I am experiencing.
I cant just go "Cold Turkey " w/ food right???
Now the Dept of Disability has ended my lil monthly support check for a very small amount enough for food between myself and house mate who shares w/ 0 expenses either.
Now panicking as I will need to Increase my work hours in spite of how Exhausted I feel from my ED being Fully Activated and all.
Don't know how long I can act like i have so much energy w/o passing out, which is what i almost did at work the day they failed to open the classroom windows for me. Got dizzy and almost passed out right on side of my teacher's desk.
So now must bring my work hours up to Full Throttle. I think @ night for my stress reduction I will have a night snack just to carbo load and to have energy for the next day.
Cant fight the urge to, and....... NOT engaged(either)----except in Lady GaGa Land Perhapz..... in disordered eating.
Any suggestions???

SilverDymphna
It sounds like you're really

It sounds like you're really in a bad place right now. Do you have a treatment team? If you do, I would certainly reach out to them for help? If not, maybe try calling the helpline at 1-800-931-2237. I know it's tempting to think that you can fight an ED on your own...I tried that for a long time and it ended up putting me in the hospital. EDs are tricky and we really need external support sometimes, even if that's just talking to someone who has a more objective point of view.

1Bluerose68
I am stuck working ED so my ED must take back seat

I am working every day now so don't even have time for talking w/ therapist. I Totally forgot about my scheduled therapy appointment with my shrink and i only see him once every 3 months or so????? I have been so busy and am Extra Nervous over this new balance on my Disability where they are claiming i was Overpaid. So I tried to negotiate a re-payment plan . It' s gonna take me 4 yrs at least to re-pay the Over payment amount. From my calculations I owe them, in spite of their failing to warn me about the exact and accurate amount which I was NOT allowed to earn more than. My calculations come to about $12,000 in re-payment, and Not $26K as they said. Plus I wasn't forewarned that my disability would even stop beginning this coming month. So the only way they could get me into treatment is to Court Order IT and provide Insurance Coverage for it too. But NO INSTEAD this seems like HARD KNOXXXXXX. Oh well????? I suppose they are Pro Enamel Types up there in Disability whom are coming down on me so hard.....?

1Bluerose68
Disability received my plea and is determining their decision

I think i need to obsess over praying even harder now than before. Everyone, please pray for me. I cannot get stuck with a $26,000 bill! For a few months , over the past 3 .5 years, I earned a tad over the acceptable and allowed monthly earning max. They are only now charging me for this. I am a bit "Out of Touch" , and i believe this is a part of my problem . Sometimes I have energy to go to work more, and it really does make me sad that they have determined, based on my average monthly pay as a substitute, that I am NOT DISABLED. Well, I'm sorry but we subs actually need a "Cost of living raise." Also, my paycheck based on working , 10 days out of a 30 day period, should NOT determine that I am NOT Disabled. But INSTEAD i should have been sent my 1st warning that if i work , and earn over a certain amount that I would be terminated from Disability. No one there at Disability seemed to do anything until they could Profit from my mistake of trying my best to work so I could see if I could go back to work as a teacher daily. Just when I was trying my hardest to work they hit me with that huge bill and No Fore Warning. This seem ludicrous and , a bit cold and wondering why they even bother w/ conducting an "Annual review" in person w/ the client if they don't even tell us then about something that was being determined for an Over Payment Case from 3 years prior to this meeting 1 on 1?????So I hope the letter which I received is 1 that means that they may waive this balance and realize that I am Very Over Whelmed by that Notice. I cant just stop working as my landlord suddenly upped our rent by 2x the monthly amount and I am the 1 in charge of the house Shopping, bill Paying, Chores, and Everything. My House mate is a Disabled person as well and he's useless when it comes to being a "Team Player." My parents recently died and I'm all on my own. I feel very isolated, over worked, and even a bit exploited----even as an American College Graduate too.( Oh Don't ever think your SAFE, just because you GRADUATED from College, 1st in your "FAMILY", either!!) Oh NO , this just means that we too have qualified to get in line for certain jobs that we may NOT have qualified for w/o that lil degree. However, the competition is REALLY tough, its cronistic, and even cut throat at times too. I was raised COUNTRY; oh perhaps I meant, "In this COUNTRY"? Twas raised, SHELTERED, and Now I am doing some major paniking too!!

PianoGirl
I am so sorry. This sounds

I am so sorry. This sounds like so much to deal with. Keep taking it one day at a time - every day you're able to get through without giving up is a victory.

Keep sharing! You aren't alone, and we are here to support you while you go through this. I will definitely be thinking of you.

1Bluerose68
Thanks so much for your support

I appreciate getting feedback from people. Then I know others are actually reading my bylines too. Thanks.....

PianoGirl
That's what we are on here

That's what we are on here together for. :-) I hope things were a little better for you today!!

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