National Eating Disorders Association

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Knows she has ED. Thinks no one will take her seriously.

My fiance has had a recent relapse with her ED. She does many of the things listed in these forums and shows many signs of having an eating disorder. She has a goal of eating a certain number of calories a day and she seldom exceeds that. It has gotten very obsessive, and is clearly making her crazy (she is mentally ill in other ways as well), to the point where she is getting suicidal. She knows and admits to having a disease.

The bigger problem is: She is neither overweight nor underweight, with a BMI a little above average, and is convinced that because of this no professional will believe she has anorexia, and therefore will not seek help. She thinks no one will take her seriously because she is not skeletal (yet), but she is losing weight so fast that it is dangerous. I could use some resources that might change her mind, and would welcome any advise at all.

Hi SandyFor,

Hi SandyFor,

I am sorry to hear that your fiance is struggling, but I think it is great that you are so supportive of her and want to help her. It is important to note that eating disorders do not discriminate and that anyone can have an eating disorders no matter what their BMI is. I encourage you to contact the NEDA Helpline at 1-900-931-2237 (Monday-Thursday, 9am-9pm; Friday, 9am-5pm), where a volunteer will provide you with resources in your area. Also, I think you might find this link helpful: Just being their for your fiance and letting her know that you love her and are there for her is all you can really do right now. Best of luck!

Hi SandyFor,

Thank you for coming here and asking for support and advice. I have experienced first hand how difficult it can be to support someone with an ED, and I applaud you for sticking by your fiancé and for doing everything you can to help her. I highly encourage you to call the Helpline and look at the link that morgs87 sent. Another resource I think you may find helpful is the NEDA Navigators program. Essentially, the program sets you up with someone who has been through the recovery process, either as a sufferer or supporter, and can be there for support and advice. You can read more about the program here:

Best of luck, and stay strong!