National Eating Disorders Association

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Worried about sister and her habits are triggering me ED thoughts

So basically I am working on a better relationship with food but it's really hard when living at home with my sister. I have noticed she has become more aware of what she is eating, the amount, and avoiding certain types of food. She doesn't really eat that much anymore and has started exercising. This is making it really hard for me to recover and be in a peaceful state with food when I can see that she isn't quite.

I also noticed on her laptop that she had been searching for weight loss advice. By no means do I think she should or needs to lose weight, she is on the smaller side anyways, is fit and healthy.

She is quite defensive and if we try to ask her anything around the topic she shuts us down and walks off. Having said this, when she sees me making food and it doesn't look like a lot she shows concerns which is helpful for me, but also I don't think she takes that for herself.

What shall I do?


Dear indigo123, welcome to the forums. We slightly edited your post to remove specific clothing sizes and a mention of a specific food, which are not allowed on the forums. You can review our community guidelines here. Thanks for your understanding and please continue to post! 

"She is quite defensive and

"She is quite defensive and if we try to ask her anything around the topic she shuts us down and walks of...What shall I do?"

Good question. I never think it's a good idea to focus on the food and eating part. As you said, she just gets defensive. But what you might do is ask her about how she's feeling about herself as a person. Does she view herself as "a good enough person" ? Or perhaps she is having social issues at school, or difficulties within your family?

Like what is it that might be causing herself to worry if she's an acceptable person or not ? While you may not be able to tell her how she should or should not be eating, the things which may be pushing her towards thinking that if she only lost weight, her self-doubts and such, maybe those are things she might be willing to talk with you about ?