National Eating Disorders Association

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Hey everyone!! Im reaching out for advice because I am feeling alot of anxiety right now. For the past month or so I havent been working , I lost my job due to COVID. Well I start my new job and will be gone for 8 hours a day. My fiance is currently unemployed and is home all day, and with his ED I know he usually doesn't eat when I'm not home to remind him. Im super anxious and worried about him being alone all day, and him not eating during the day while I'm gone. Currently he only eats X cals a day while I'm there and im super stressed about him eating less then that when I'm gone. Hes aware of my concerns and we have talked about it. Im still just anxious about it and would like to know more ways I can help him eat without being overbearing while I'm at work. He already said we could video call so I can make sure he eats when I'm on lunch and I already told him ill order him food when we can. But I would like advice on how to not only not be as anxious about it but to help him as well. As always thank you!

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Hi there,

Is your fiancee under some ED Treatment? Recovering from an eating disorder is each person's responsibility and even our therapists can not work harder than us. If your fiancee is not willing to eat more when alone, then, there is not much you can other than suggesting him to get some professional help.

I understand you may feel worried and helpless but he is already an adult. Also, you need to be able to focus on your new job.

Why don't you guys sign up a daily contract where he commits to eat properly?
Maybe getting a meal plan from a dietician could also be helpful.


That doesn't always work

in my experience, I wouldn't be able to eat alone. At different points, I had to have lunch daily with my husband. If I didn't, I couldn't eat. But I was also constantly, actively seeking out treatment and therapy. It took 4 years to finally get a therapist. It sounds like he could benefit from going inpatient or residential. What are your thoughts? How are you today