hey. my boyfriend is 14- as am i- and im really worried about him. he’s nearly 5’7” and only X pounds. he comes from a lanky-sorta family but i don’t think he’s healthy. he worries about his weight and what he eats almost always, and he’s paranoid about reaching over X pounds. i’m confused how nobody has mentioned anything (especially his doctors and therapist) but i digress. i may ask him to talk to his therapist about it, or perhaps even to ask his parents for a nutritionist. i’m just not sure how i can help him. anything you all would suggest? im at a loss of what to do at this point.
Hi, quiet1s! Thank you for posting. We're sorry to hear about your concerns in regards to your boyfriend. We edited some portions of your post as numbers could be triggering for other members of the forum! Please take a look at our community guidelines here: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/forums/community-guidelines. Thank you for understanding and please continue posting!
Hey Quiet 1,
" he worries about his weight and what he eats almost always, and he’s paranoid about reaching over X pounds."
While it's not unusual for people to worry about their weight, as you may have noticed, many people can joke or take a light-hearted attitude about it. When it seems that people are of a normal weight, and yet they seem depressed and overly paranoid or obsessional instead, then we really can begin to wonder about how healthy these concerns are. Today's emphasis on "healthy eating" can mask deeper problems people have with food as well.
Things like this are pretty personal, so it can be hard to know how to help. How able is he to talk about his feelings regarding the situation ? Does he seem able to recognize that the thoughts he is having may be effecting his mood and intruding on his thinking during the day ?
Helping him gain a perspective on these concerns might be one way to help, particularly if he doesn't have anyone else he feels safe talking to about them. Even just having him talk about them at all might help.
Keep in touch ?
BobJ
Hi quiet1s, if your school has a counselor, this may be a question that you can bring to them. Your school counselor may have ideas of ways that you can help, or the Counselor may have ways to help your boyfriend or even be able to speak with his parents.
Be aware that there really isn't anything that can be done if your boyfriend doesn't want to change. This is his life and his body, and he has to be ready.
Sending best wishes in this difficult situation.
Hi quiet1s,
Welcome to the NEDA online community forum! We are so glad that you have found a space where you can share your story! I just wanted to check in with you to see how your boyfriend was doing? I know the last time you posted, you stated, "you weren't sure how to help him" and I wanted to follow up with you to see if there were any new updates. Please let us know if there is anything more we can do for you and your boyfriend! We are here for you and you always have a listening ear here on the NEDA online community forums!
Erin_Patricia1 <3