National Eating Disorders Association

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Recovery problems

Recovery has been giving me a lot of abdominal, leg, and butt swelling (edema) and it's painful and I can't deal with it anymore and even though I want to be weight restored and healthy this pain is too much to bear and the sight of me is abhorrent and it's hurting me emotionally? Like I don't know how to make it go away and I don't know how to feel better either.

thank you for reaching out

Thanks for reaching out to us! I know recovery is difficult and I commend you for being up front about the struggles you're having.
Are you able to talk to a doctor about the pain you're having? They're going to be able to tell you better about what might be going on and how to help it. I know in recovery it is useful to meet with both a doctor or dietition as well as a therapist to help address both angles of recovery: physical and emotional/psychological development.
I hope this helps! You can do this! It gets hard and ED likes us to believe we'll never be free, but you can do this!