National Eating Disorders Association

7 posts / 0 new
Last post
Savedbygrace
Iwanttolive

How are things going? Been thinking about you.

iwanttolive
Savedbygrace

Hello. Thank you for thinking of me. Things are changing by the minute here. My sister has agreed to go into individual counselling for a while. Then we will go together. She has agreed to come to live at my parents for a month. I will live with less stress. My depression is really bad with a lot of bad thoughts. I sleep all the time and could barely work today. Came home and slept for four hours and am up now for a while. Currently I am at my parent's and my dad is making the room ready for my sister who will move in tomorrow.

Thank you for asking. How have you been. I want you to try to talk about your feelings and not what you did or did not eat. I say this because I think it will help you. Not because I don't care or don't want to hear about the other stuff. I just want to know you more as an individual. How are you? I really have come to see you as my little sister. I care for you.

iwanttolive

Savedbygrace
Thank you

<p>I appreciate you caring. To be honest, my symptoms are so bad, they mask any possible negative feelings. I'm sure they'll probably come back after I start nourishing my body, but for now I think I'm really happy. I know I'll probably start getting memories again once I start eating normally again. For some reason, I feel nothing but happiness, so it's probably ED related.

Savedbygrace
Thinking

I've been thinking about how I've really been doing. I feel drained. I feel like I need to keep myself busy so I don't miss my husband so much when we're apart. I'm hurting because of what other people have done, how they have violated me in every way possible. It hurts that I can't be as thin and pretty as a lot of other people

iwanttolive
Savedbygrace

Hi. Question: Do you really believe 100% that if you were thinner that that would make the memories and pain of your past go away. I believe that is a lie that you are believing. I have mentioned Beth Moore several times. She underwent sexual abuse and you have never responded when I mention Joyce Meyer or Beth Moore. I prefer Beth Moore. But they both experienced sexual abuse. Do you think you can check them out?

I understand keeping busy as a way of distraction, but if you are harming your body by doing too much, can you find a different way to distract?
I am sorry you are alone a lot. That has to be difficult. Thank you for sharing. I am glad you know Jesus because He loves you so much and does not want you suffering as you are. So...I wish you a restful sleep. I know sleep is difficult for you but I pray you get rested. Emotions are draining and makes us tired. I have been sleeping so much recently. I could barely function at work I was so tired. I believe it is the depression.
So I will end here. Take care,
iwanttolive

Savedbygrace
Authors

To be honest, I can barely focus on anything, like journaling or reading, and I've tried reading about survivors in the past, but I get way too triggered hearing about specific details. I wish it were different, but it's where I'm at right now.

iwanttolive
Savedbygrace

Hi. That was an honest answer. Thank you. Maybe one day you will be able to. Time does not heal all wounds. Jesus does. Give Him time and you too will be able to have your wounds healed. Jesus is no respecter of person's. He loves you and will help you get to where He wants you to be. Just keep trusting.

Peace to you, in Jesus name. iwanttolive