National Eating Disorders Association

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I feel terrible

Laying here next to my child feeling like a failure because I think I'm going to purge after he falls asleep. I'm really trying to resist but I don't know if I can. I wish I had someone to talk to about this in person but I can't bring myself to do it. I feel like I don't want anyone to ever know.

I feel terrible.

So sorry you are struggling. Have you tried writing down why you feel like purging? Try noticing what's making you feel this way.
Do you have a NEDA navigator? There is a lot of help available. Letting people know you need help is nothing to be ashamed of. You deserve help. You are worth it.
Try the Kati Morton website and her YouTube videos, if you are afraid to talk to one body right at this time, I have found her really helpful.


First off, let me tell you that you are not a failure! You are so strong for fighting this ED and for raising a child. I have so much respect for you for that. I'm sorry that this response is a little late and I hope that you were able to fight that voice, telling you to purge. If not, that's okay too. You will never be a failure.

I'm so glad that you turned to this forum for help. Even just writing down the problem can be so freeing. Feel free to call the NEDA hotline. Trained volunteers are there to listen, give advice, or cheer you on. The number is 1-800-931-2237 and the hours are Monday-Thursday 9:00am-9:00pm and Friday 9:00am-5:00pm (EST).

I'm sorry that you feel as though you cannot talk to somebody about this. Have you ever seen a therapist? Opening up to somebody can be so freeing. Soon enough you will feel comfortable around them and feel as though you can tell them anything. If you want to look further into treatment, you can check out this link. SImply put in what you are looking for and the area you live, and a bunch of options will come up!

Your child loves you and would want the best for you. There are a ton of Stories of Hope which are personal testimonies about people who beat the ED. (Here's the link for that: I hope that within there, you can find a story that you relate to and helps you to a path of recovery.

Stay strong! You are worth recovery and since I cannot say it enough, you are most definitely not a failure.


I know your pain

Hey there, I hope you made it through your episode okay without purging. If not hopefully next time you will. I know your pain all to well because daily I struggle with wanting to purge. I know how intense the urge can be and that at times you feel powerless. But I'm here to tell you that you are strong and with enough courage will get through each meal one day at a time. Hang in there I'm praying for you .