National Eating Disorders Association

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Hedgehogbeatles8
Bulimia/Anorexia Recovery, Binge Eating Help!

Hey there, I am an anorexic/bulimic who has decided to recover just a few days ago. I realize that this is not healthy for me and my friends and family are all extremely concerned, and getting up to a proper weight will help them and me to feel better. But see, ever since I decided on this, I feel like I have lost control of my eating. And I'm very worried that I might gain weight TOO FAST... Is that something to consider? Is it normal for anorexics and bulimics who barely let themselves eat ANYTHING to feel insecure with how much they are eating? I'd really like to know. I'm very worried that this isn't normal and I have to change my ways. The thing is, I eat even when I'm NOT hungry. Is the whole idea of it just overwhelming to me right now? Like I said, I'm VERY afraid of gaining TOO fast. Please help! I want to know that these feelings during the beginning of recovery is completely and utterly normal... I'll figure something out. Just, please, is there anyone out there who can relate, or possible someone who can reassure me my recovery behavior is normal or not? Thanks!!!

michael26
Hey There!

Hi! Thank you so much for posting your concerns. You are taking amazing steps into this new world of recovery.

First, I want to alleviate some of your fears. When I was first starting recovery, I did feel very insecure and worried about my food intake and how that was affecting my body. However, I was greatly helped because I had a great team of professionals assisting me with this. I had a physician, a dietitian, and a therapist. Would you be able to at least see a dietitian? I truly know that if you call NEDA's Helpline (1-800-931-2237) that they would be able to direct you to a specialist! A dietitian would really be able to truly alleviate your feelings about these first steps in recovery. Plus, she would be able to help guide you as you move throughout recovery.

I know that any change to our body is scary. I believe that is a reason why we should seek help from those who have special training and have a more grounded perspective on how our bodies are functioning.

It is absolutely normal to be feeling this way! I am just worried about you because you seem to have little to no professional guidance in this journey. Would you be able to seek this type of help? Are there any fears that you have that I could maybe help you with?

I hope you are still doing well!

Hedgehogbeatles8
Oh yes, thank you, I think I

Oh yes, thank you, I think I'm pulling along so far... :) I did some research and foun out it's totally ordinary for recovering people to eat a whole bunch/have the desire to. It's just our bodies yearning for the energy and food. :) So knowing that, I think I feel a lot less scared. As long as it's all natural. I though it was binge eating, but I guess that's not possible for recovering folk. Anyway, no, I do not have any professional guidance. My parents are looking into a good therapisy, but it has to be someone within their insurance. I'm not sure if any of those other people, like dietians and physicans, are available through insurance...

eghall
Keep up the good work!

Hi! I'm proud of you for taking steps toward recovery! I agree with Michael that you do need professional guidance through recovery. I'm glad you're looking for a therapist. There are dietitians and physicians covered by insurance that can help you as well. It's important to have a treatment team in place for optimal success!

I'm glad you are feeling more comfortable with your refeeding process! Our minds have to relearn what our bodies need, so it may feel a bit uncomfortable at first. But you will soon see what mindful eating is all about. I'm proud of you for taking these staps towards recovery!!

nanzhu
you're on the right track!

Hedgehogbeatles8,

Thanks for starting up this discussion - and congratulations on starting your recovery process!

It's totally normal to feel overwhelmed and unsure about what you're eating now. Your body will take time to realign itself and understand that food is FUEL that you need to live! When I was recovering from my ED, I felt very similar. I was concerned with all the new foods that I was reintroducing and didn't know what was the right amount, but in time you will find a healthy balance and relearn your hunger cues.

The recovery process and nutritional needs are different for everyone though so it's hard to tell what is the "right" amount - so I definitely agree with the others that seeing a dietitian or therapist would be really helpful. If finding one through your insurance might take some time and effort, would you be able to book an appointment with your normal primary cary/family doctor? They can help assess your nutritional needs and also direct you to a specialist within your insurance network. Even bringing up your concerns at your next regular physical appointment if it's in the near future would be a great and convenient option.

Here's some reading and links that may be helpful for you in the meantime: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/recovery.
Stories of hope: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/stories-of-hope

You're on the right track!
All the best,
Nan

Hedgehogbeatles8
Oh Man...

Thank you so much everyone for your words of encouragement, but now I really think I need some help. :( Today I ate what I felt was a lot of food. Gosh, I feel so bad... and fat!!! I mean, I know I'm not, but how is that NOT binge eating??? I just feel so lonely and pathetic... I even tried to barf some of that out but I stopped myself since I didn't want anyone to hear... What do I do??? Is it normal to eat that much during recovery??? I'm so scared and feel terrible!!!

nanzhu
you are strong!

Hedgehogbeatles8,

First, I want you to know that it's completely okay, and normal, to have days where you feel off or uneasy about your eating during the recovery process. There will be plenty of ups and downs and the goal is to try to find a healthy overall balance that you can maintain in the long term.

I'm glad that you said you think you need some help - help IS available! I want to reiterate the advice earlier that talking to a therapist, nutritionist, or even your primary care doctor would be a good first step. It's important that you can talk to a professional who can help you in your journey and teach you what is considered healthy, as well as come up with a plan with you. I know it can be scary, but I know you can do it! I'm worried that you said that after eating you tried to "barf some of that out". That is a clear sign that some outside help would be very helpful to you. It can be nervewracking to share that information, but I'm so glad you have here and I really encourage you to share it with whichever therapist or doctor you talk to.

Here's a link that also may help: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/find-treatment

All the best!
Nan

Upunxu
Don't worry

Reading your post I can relate to everything!! I don't know why I keep binging and I know it's not healthier than starving. I think (I hope) it just takes time to get back to normal. I hope you get through this! I believe in you!!!!

_admin_moderator
Thanks for coming on here!

Hi Upunxu! We are so glad you found these forums and hope you come here often to chat. You are correct that binging isn't healthier than starving, but a life free of both is possible! It does take time to get back to normal, but true success for the long term is done with a treatment team. Have you thought about contacting a therapist or a primary care doctor? We can help you with that. Here is a good place to start:
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/find-treatment

Unfortunately, for your own protection, I need to take your email address down. I can't tell you how much we appreciate you supporting the others on here and your willingness to be there for them! It's just a policy of ours that no personal info be posted. But please continue to spread your positivity on the forums!!