National Eating Disorders Association

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Boyfriend is Bulimic & Im trapped! Gay Relationship

Evening everyone,
I have been with my boyfriend almost 4 years. We live together and have done for last 2 and a half years. He has suffered from Bulimia for several years now. He had previously seeked help but then ended it as it wasn't helping him. Whilst I do try and help him, life stresses don't help. We are only 22, living together, money worries, work stresses etc which all dont help. As well as bulimia, he does appear to suffer from depression. He has had a lot of life experiences so it's hardly surprising. As much as I love him, try and support him I am getting to the stage where I am finding it extremely difficult to try and help. When he is in one of his depressed/bulimic moods, he can be extremely violent towards me by what he says! I am getting to a point where I simply cannot handle it and don't feel strong enough to help him. I don't know what to do but feel trapped as to not being able to leave as I am EXTREMELY frightened of what he may do to himself! Unfortunately, my friends list is extremely small... By which I haven't any real close friends I can talk to about this. So was hoping I could find some advice here. Please, anything would be of great help.
Thank you for your time, Adam.

Hi Adam!

Hello!! Welcome to the forums and thank you for your post!!

I am sorry to hear that your partner has been struggling with bulimia. Any eating disorder can take over a person's life and make that person's true self less and less apparent. I am sorry to hear that you have felt in danger when trying to assist your partner. Please remember that your safety well being is just as important!!!

I know that you mentioned not being sure how to approach him since he can become violent towards you or yourself. If you ever feel like he is going to harm someone or himself please call 911!! It is more important to save a life and be courageous!!!

A great resource through NEDA is the NEDA Navigator program. This program supports individuals and their loved ones through private, free advice and insight from Navigators who have had experience achieving their own recovery from an eating disorder. I think that requesting for a Navigator would be a great way to receive ongoing support and advice for how to both effectively ensure your needs get met and that you feel confident you have done the best for your partner. Here is a link to learn more!!

I hope that this helps!!

Remember that your safety is a priority as well! Please call 911 if you feel threatened or if your partner is harming himself!

Stay strong!!!