National Eating Disorders Association

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hermione3
Blood work

Got blood work done now waiting on the results in part I hope something is off so I can see my eating as really a problem and if I have a serious issue then maybe it will motivate me or make me realize I am sick I am hoping to hear back from my doctor soon and so we can schedule another appointment knowing what is going on in my body. I am sure the blood work will be perfect it almost always is then I have my heart rate and blood pressure to just worry about and maybe I should already care but my health and well being is not always my top priority...

Savedbygrace
I have the feeling

That even if the numbers are off, it might not be that "thing" that makes you realize how sick you are. It sounds like you struggle with depression a little bit, so perhaps if you are seeing a psychiatrist, you can discuss this with him/her? Just a thought. I hope things improve for you.

iwanttolive
hermione3

Hi. I am glad that you got the blood work done. I hope you realize that no matter what the blood work says, you need to know in your heart that you do have an eating disorder. You do need help. If the blood work comes out clean, that does not mean that you don't need help. Deep down I think you know that. Eating disorders are deceptive. They want us to believe in the face of stark evidence that we are fine. I thought that and I was near death several times, and to this day I still don't realize how ill I was. I don't think you need the blood work results to know you need help. This is not meant to be harsh. So, regardless of the results, you do need to have support and one of THE most difficult thing for those of us who have eating disorders admitting we are ill and need help is so essential to getting better. I pray that you will one day, soon, be willing to treat your body with care. To know you are worth love, and to be loved. You have been through so much, but that doesn't define you, nor does the eating disorder. Try to find things that you enjoy doing or that you used to like to do. Your identity, well for me, is in who Jesus says I am. I forget if you believe in Jesus, I need to write down the names of people who do, but I will say that without Him I would not be alive. I would not have been able to get where I am today. I have really been struggling lately. I fell kinda hard in regards to the self harm. But I am not my eating disorder anymore. I want to be known for a kind, caring and loving person. See if you can list some things that you want to be known for, aside from what the eating disorder tells you.

I say this in love. iwanttolive

hermione3
Thanks for the support, i do

Thanks for the support, i do suffer from depression and am on meds for it not that they work...as for it not mattering what the blood work means that is true i know i am sick and need help and at times i have been near death i still didn't believe it and i always believed i wouldn't die and was fine. i always think i am fine i will know soon and then i have to schedule with my new doctor who I like so far so that is a good thing granted i met her once but she is much better then my old doctor...I keep getting lightheaded at work when i lean over and get up i know that can't be good i am trying to do well but keep slipping but have new motivation to move out of my roomates and on my own that is very exciting for me to even think about and back in my hometown and near my job so i need to be well.

Savedbygrace
It's good

You have something to look forward to and that you like your therapist. Have you discussed your meds are not working with your therapist? I also struggle with depression, so when my meds aren't working, I'm more complacent and don't really have the drive or energy to want to do anything, much less get out of bed. So my concern is things might get worse if the meds don't get worked out, making it much harder to be able to try to fight your eating disorder.
So with all that said, my suggestion is talk to your therapist and see if a change in meds would be appropriate.
I'm sorry you also struggle with depression. It's not fun or easy to get under control, but it can be done. Then the eating disorder work can happen in a more effective way.

London1621
Hugs

I hope you will be ok soon. Hugs.

hermione3
Thanks for the support. I don

Thanks for the support. I don't see my psychiatrist for another month I will discuss things with her then i can always text her earlier if i need to. it is hard with my depression and PTSD and anxiety to fight my eating disorder. I have not been that motivated lately to do much and that could be the depression i have even been off at work and not that motivated its like i am demotivated i have no energy and every day is a struggle to get out of bed and go. I have new things to look forward to i just have to focus on the positive which is hard for me but i have to work on it.