National Eating Disorders Association

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Ladybug0805
Bad Day

Having an extremely hard day today....not sure how to continue doing thus work towards recovery....

Sam824
What's so bad?

What's so bad?

Ladybug0805
Sam824

Just having an exceptionally hard time fighting the ED thoughts. Thinking really bad things and just struggling.

Sam824
I hear you. I've been fine

I hear you. I've been fine for 4+ years and just started struggling the last couple months . I wonder are these eating disorder thoughts or just normal anxiety thoughts. Have you been in treatment for your ed

Ladybug0805
Treatment

I have been seeing a nutritionist and therapist for over a year now. This past summer and then a little more recently they discussed a higher level of care possibly being needed but I was able to pull myself together and work towards goals etc. I've had bad days where I've had to battle the ED thoughts but today is bad....like as bad as I was in the summer where I can literally tell that if I don't figure something out I will be right back fully in my eating disorder. Have you been in treatment recently? Is it an ongoing thing?

Sam824
No I haven't recently . My

No I haven't recently . My habits were fine until about 6 weeks ago. I haven't been I. Treatment for over 4 years . But before I had done a wide variety of treatments from counseling to severe inpatient programs. It's a slippery slope w eating disorders I think . And when I struggle it doesn't always look the same . Do you think something is triggering you to have the ed thoughts again as bad as the summer ? What thoughts are you working through

Ladybug0805
Yes

I do think that I am having some triggering moments. I'm extremely stressed right now and it seems like I keep having more and more put on me each day. I've noticed on particularly stressful days I seem to struggle worse. There are also other factors that are triggering me such as some visible triggers about my own body. I do think that eating disorders a are a slippery slope. I just keep thinking at what point do I just give up and call it quits. I mean I question if I am strong enough to handle the ups and downs of the eating disorder. I know that my therapist and nutritionist can always tell if I am active in my disorder because of the coloring of my skin and lips when I am active. I thought I had went quite a while before not being active in my disorder but I realized in therapy the other day I can't remember a time all the way back to middle school when I haven't been somewhat active in it and I am now 37 years old. I hope that you are able to fight the thoughts that you are having and continue in recovery! I'm always here to talk if you need someone!

jobeem
don't give up

Hey Ladybug0805, I have been having a hard time lately. Some days are just hard and others seem unbearable. But I try to remind myself of my personal reasons why I want recovery from my ED as motivation. Also when I feel like giving up I think of my lowest low point in my ED and no matter how hard recovery seems the idea of going back to that place and being stuck there is scarier. I know this it's cliche but "no one ever said recovery was going to be easy, they just say it's worth it." I hope things start getting a little easier for you and I think that maybe identifying some coping tools that have worked in the past with either stress/anxiety and ED thoughts/behaviors might be a helpful - at least it has helped me before.

jobeem
don't give up

Hey Ladybug0805, I have been having a hard time lately. Some days are just hard and others seem unbearable. But I try to remind myself of my personal reasons why I want recovery from my ED as motivation. Also when I feel like giving up I think of my lowest low point in my ED and no matter how hard recovery seems the idea of going back to that place and being stuck there is scarier. I know this it's cliche but "no one ever said recovery was going to be easy, they just say it's worth it." I hope things start getting a little easier for you and I think that maybe identifying some coping tools that have worked in the past with either stress/anxiety and ED thoughts/behaviors might be a helpful - at least it has helped me before.

Ladybug0805
jobeem

Hey there jobeem! Thank you so much for reminding me that nobody said it would be easy! Many have told me that it will be worth it though! I try thinking about my son and how much he needs me when I hit my lows. My lowest point was not too long ago and I think I just wasn't far enough out before all of this added stress was brought on me if that makes sense but I know also that I have to use my tools to deal with daily life and ED at the same time! I hope that your hard days become less frequent. You have an amazing attitude towards it and that gives me great hope that you will overcome these bad days! I am truly thankful for this forum and for all of you!

Ladybug0805
birdie22

Thank you for sharing part of your story with me birdie22! This forum has really helped me out quite a bit. I am trying my hardest to not have to seek a higher level of care but I am walking a thin line where my therapist and nutritionist are concerned and I know it is because they worry when I get extremely weak and dehydrated! I thank you for sharing with me how your battle with ED has went because I was starting to believe that I was a hopeless cause the way I have sunk back into this. I am glad to be able to reach out here on the forum on these days when I don't know if I can make it through. It just feels like when I am so stressed and the eating disorder takes over, it affects every aspect of life including making my depression worsen. My therapist has provided me with an unmeasurable amount of tools but when I get like I am tonight I fail to utilize those tools. Then I get so disappointed. I definitely do not want to use a hospital as an escape because I fear that when I get back out, the stress aND chaos would make me sink even deeper after coming out of such a structured place. Sorry that I have jumped all over in this message but this is kind of what happens when I'm in these moments. Always here for you if you need or want to talk! Thanks so much for all of your kind words. I don't post a lot on here to people because I fear saying the wrong things. Like I am not even sure if I can say what my disorder is without it being edited but I'm always here to support all of you! Sending virtual hugs your way!

Ladybug0805
birdie22

Thank you for sharing part of your story with me birdie22! This forum has really helped me out quite a bit. I am trying my hardest to not have to seek a higher level of care but I am walking a thin line where my therapist and nutritionist are concerned and I know it is because they worry when I get extremely weak and dehydrated! I thank you for sharing with me how your battle with ED has went because I was starting to believe that I was a hopeless cause the way I have sunk back into this. I am glad to be able to reach out here on the forum on these days when I don't know if I can make it through. It just feels like when I am so stressed and the eating disorder takes over, it affects every aspect of life including making my depression worsen. My therapist has provided me with an unmeasurable amount of tools but when I get like I am tonight I fail to utilize those tools. Then I get so disappointed. I definitely do not want to use a hospital as an escape because I fear that when I get back out, the stress aND chaos would make me sink even deeper after coming out of such a structured place. Sorry that I have jumped all over in this message but this is kind of what happens when I'm in these moments. Always here for you if you need or want to talk! Thanks so much for all of your kind words. I don't post a lot on here to people because I fear saying the wrong things. Like I am not even sure if I can say what my disorder is without it being edited but I'm always here to support all of you! Sending virtual hugs your way!

Ladybug0805
birdie22

It does make complete sense! Thank you! One day at a time, one step at a time! Everything that you said makes sense to me and I know that I just have to find the strength to discuss it all with my support team instead of holding back. I feel like the more I restrict the more down I become! Thank you for your words of wisdom! Take care and good luck in the days to come with working on your trauma etc. Please let me know how you are doing!

lovetowrite81
Ladybug0805

Hi Ladybug0805,

I am so sorry you have been struggling. I just wanted to affirm that you are right-- all you can do is keep pressing on one moment, one hour, one day at a time. Wanted to send some encouragement to let you know that you are not alone and we care about you here. Know that recovery is possible & you are entirely worthy of it :) You will get there.

Keep us posted <3

-Lovetowrite81

Ladybug0805
lovetowrite81

Thank you so much! Your words of encouragement are much appreciated! I hope that you are doing well. I'm just remaining focused on the moment. It is helping me to get through the day better!

lovetowrite81
:)

Of course! I'm so glad to hear that :) And I am doing very well, thank you! I recently celebrated 2 years behavior-free, a point in which I NEVER thought in a million years I would reach. It's so crazy to look back and see how much disarray I was in for so long, and yet to see healing & freedom on the other side <3 I am excited to walk with you toward that place as well!

Ladybug0805
Wow!

Wow....2 years without behaviors!!!! I hope that I can say that one day! I'm happy for you! It is so great to see that you have been in recovery for that amount of time! It gives me hope! I am glad to have you walking with me!!! <3 <3

lovetowrite81
Ladybug0805

Thank you so much for your encouragement :)
So wonderful to have you here <3