National Eating Disorders Association

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fishgirl123
Aunt with Eating Disorder

Hi,
I am not sure if I fit into this category, but I suffered from 6 years of an eating disorder. I have been symptom free for over a year now, but my problem is my aunt has had an undiagnosed eating disorder for around 50 years or more. It has always been a huge tension between us and teared a hole in not just our relationship but my mom has been dragged along too. My aunt will never get treatment ( we are resound to that - her husband of 25 years and dog passed away at the same time two years ago and since then her symptoms have gotten much worse). What I am looking for are any helpful strategies or suggestions that can help ease the tension between us because I am at a loss but we are such a small family I don't want to lose her.

als2908
Hi fishgirl123, first

Hi fishgirl123, first congratulations on your recovery! I can empathize with you. I had a similar experience with a relative who had many disordered eating behaviors which increased tension and made it more difficult for me during my time of recovery. I think one of the most helpful strategies for me was to realize that I was not to blame and not responsible for their behavior. It wasn’t up to me to fix them as much as I wanted to. I had to focus on me and my own commitment to recovery and health. When I re-focused on me and less on their behavior, some of the tension became less and I was able to love them flaws and all. Sometimes it is hard to help someone who does not want help, but you can love them anyway. I hope this helps. You can also consider speaking to a professional who may offer other insight. The NEDA Navigator program may be a good option too: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/neda-navigators

Brooke125
Hey fishgirl,

Hey fishgirl,
Thank you for sharing. I think your words are really beautiful. You empathize and relate, you're also cautious, worried and full of love and support. This is merely a suggestion, but perhaps you could write a letter to her about how much you care about her, how you don't want to lose her and that you support her.

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Sandysmith537,

Sandysmith537,
Please remember that according to the NEDA Forum Guidelines, promoting products or services is not permitted on the forums and therefore your post was deleted. You can review the community guidelines here:https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/community-guidelines
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