National Eating Disorders Association

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Melissaah
another bad day

I slipped and used symptoms again. I even told my therapist that I felt like I already failed today so it wasn't going to hurt to make things worse. Gaining weight is scary for me. Mainly because I'm not happy with where I am now.

PianoGirl
Weight gaincan feel very

Weight gain can feel very frightening when you're in the thick of things. I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't want to seem pushy, but this sounds a lot like ED talking. Please be careful and safe!

Have you told your therapist about your fears of gaining weight? I know sometimes it can feel like not gaining weight is more important than almost anything else, but I also think that worrying about weight can contribute to keeping you in the binge/purge cycle. It's really hard to have the energy and focus necessary for achieving recovery when you're terrified of gaining weight.

I hope you can be gentle with yourself. We all deserve self-acceptance and compassion. <3

stormy
Hey Melissah!

Hey Melissah!

Don't be so hard on yourself! A big part of recovery is realizing that you are a human being and it's okay to feel uncertain and to experience ups and downs. The biggest culprit in my ED was the constant negative self-talk and perception that I wasn't perfect and, therefore, I wasn't good enough for any type of love or respect. This is not true! Tripping up is common to every person on the planet and you needn't expect so much from yourself when you're healing. The important thing is that you recognize these thoughts and talk openly about them with someone you trust so you can keep that negative voice from stealing away your health and happiness.

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