National Eating Disorders Association

3 posts / 0 new
Last post
iwanttolive
anger and bewildered

Hi guys, I am a bit angry right now. My sister, ahh, back to my sister. She does nothing to help around the house, although she said she cleaned the toilet and sink today. She is always telling me what to do in regards to MY dog. She is so aggravating. She now wants a schedule. She does not contribute to household items claiming she doesn't use them.

So, our carpet needs either pulled up and the nails removed, or, a cleaning professionally. I told her and asked if she would be willing to contribute. When I went to the store today, she asked me to get her something but I said no because in another conversation when she was angry that I wouldn't buy her liquor, she said she would NEVER ask me to buy her another thing. She remembered after I told her and said forget it. Was I mean or not being a Christian when I told her what she had said to me in a fit of her own anger? I feel like a bad person because I didn't get her anything.

So, when I told my mother that she wasn't in agreement to help with the carpet cleaning, my mom said to never ask her for money regarding the house. I said that is unfair. She agreed but said if I want an angry sister to deal with. I must never ask her to contribute to the household. I find this intolerable. But I am wrong for asking her to do anything.

She is feeling better, was able to be up for five days now, including some long days for the wedding, and afterwards. But that only proves the fact that the amount of time spent being so sick she can not come out of her room for days and walks around with a mask just above her eyes, that she isn't as sick as she thinks she is. She is now going over to my parent's house to watch a movie with my Aunt. The entire situation is frustrating. And the fact that she is allowed to get away with it even though she is living here. Any input for me? I would appreciate some, thanks.

Carol1234
Hey iwanttolive,

Hey iwanttolive,
This sounds like a really tough situation, and I’m glad you brought it up! I’m a bit new to the forums, so I’m not sure of the whole context with your sister, but I think you definitely have a right to feel angry. It can be so difficult balance taking care of our needs with our family member’s needs, and it sounds especially tricky given your sister is ill so your mom has different expectations for you guys. My sister is also a bit ill, and I also feel a lot of frustration and uncertainty when it comes to asking for things from her and saying no to her. You said you feel like a bad person for not getting her anything; I don’t know you personally, but I’m sure you’re not a bad person- the fact that you reached out with these questions and for help with the situation shows your trying and engaging, and that’s really a huge deal. It seems like your mom agrees with you that the situation is unfair, but she’s unwilling to do anything. Do you think she knows that this situation is causing you so much frustration? Hope this helped a little and you can give yourself some kindness tonight

iwanttolive
Carol1234

Hi. I am glad you are becoming a part of the NEDA forum. Thank you for your response. The reason I did not get something for my sister was because she said to me a bit ago that she will NEVER ask me to get anything for her again. Yes, she was angry when she said that.

My Mom is aware of the situation, but I don't understand why she is allowed to get away with not putting money into the kitty. My roommate and I put in $25 until it runs out for household items. My sister says she doesn't use toilet paper, napkins or paper towels. But she does. She has to catheterize herself so she uses a limited amount of TP. I am just angry that she just does what she wants to do. She is selfish and I heard that from someone. My mother wants there to be peace and Mary has made it clear when she moved in nine months ago that she would not participate. If our floor is dirty, my roommate and I are going in on the cost. When I asked my sister, she just said she doesn't care if the carpet is dirty and uses that as justification for not helping with the cost.

I thank you for your support.
iwanttolive