National Eating Disorders Association

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Savedbygrace
After this meal...

After this small meal for lunch, I want to restrict the rest of the day. I also want to disappear and start using symptoms again.

iwanttolive
Savedbygrace

Hi there,

I am so sorry you are still struggling so much. Thank you for your response to my post. I can understand to a point, as much as I can from reading what you've been through that you want to disappear and not eat. But the Truth is is that that is really not the answer. We want it to be. We think it will help, but if it did help, we would be better and we, you, would not feel as crummy as you still do and the memories would be gone and your fears would be gone. I think deep down you probably know that restricting doesn't work. It is a distraction and it helps in the moment but in the long run it complicates things. Are you able to drink supplements when you are not able to eat solid foods? That is what I have been doing and while it works for a short time it isn't always the best choice long term. Using symptoms unfortunately aren't going to take the pain away. It just is a band aide. It covers the pain for a while but the pain comes back. I do not say this to discourage you but to help you think a little clearer. Sometimes when we are stuck the thought of using behaviors seems like the best plan. I am just offering another idea. You do deserve to eat. You do deserve to live. And thrive. You were chosen. You are special. I hope this helps a litte bit. iwanttolive

Savedbygrace
Thank you so much

The past couple of days have been really tough. My stomach is hurting, maybe because I've been restricting. I wish I was not so sensitive.

_admin_moderator
edit notification

Savedbygrace, your post has been edited. Users are not allowed to mention the names of specific drugs. Also, please be reminded that this is a pro-recovery forum. We are happy you are reaching out here for support but please remember to make that clear in your posts. Threads that only express a desire to act on symptoms and do not ask for help or support in fighting those urges will be deleted, as they can be interpreted as encouraging ED behaviors. Thanks for helping us keep this a safe space for everyone.

lovetowrite81
Savedbygrace

Just wanted to check in and see how you're doing tonight? <3 Praying for you.

Savedbygrace
Thank you

Right now I'm feeling really down. I also feel the emotions of my husband.

DSTEELE14
Please don't disappear.

Please don't disappear. Wanting to restrict is natural but, you can make a different choice. You are strong. We all deserve TOTAL RECOVERY. Give yourself time and allow yourself to make small steps. Don't be too hard on yourself and expect changes all at once. Reach out to any recovery tools you have.--including this board.