National Eating Disorders Association

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Layne
Admit to someone

I am a 25 year old new mother to an almost one-year-old little boy. I am a recovering anorexic who since pregnancy has found myself with a food addiction. I feel so much shame, and so much guilt. It's horrible to be so ashamed that I envy my anorexic stage in my late teens and early twenties. My husband grew up in such a way that he doesn't seem to understand why I can't just turn my thinking on or off. I feel like I have no control over my life. When I eat, when I workout, when or how much I sleep... It makes recovery so difficult. And what makes it worse is I am too ashamed to tell anyone. I started to tell my counselor...but I just started seeing him and I don't think he could hear the urgency in my voice or tell the depth at which I am suffering. I always cling to my old, unhealthy habits....And then the disorder comes back. I am admitting it to you now, as my peer, so that hopefully I can find encouragement and acknowledgment that I am not alone. I've decided to skip the strict game plans try my best to avoid the routines that led me to anorexia in the past. Wish me luck! Pray for me?

stormy
Hi Layne!

Hi Layne!

Thank you for sharing! I highly encourage you to tell your counselor about it because he is there to help you and, of all people, will understand you and your struggle. Have you tried contacting the NEDA Helpline at 1.800.931.2237? The volunteers are very helpful and can point you towards good avenues for treatment, help you navigate insurance coverage issues, and will also provide a comfortable and safe environment for you to openly speak to a person about your struggles. I would also suggest you share the information in this link with your husband: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/general-information to offer him some more help in understanding what you're going through. I know it can be tough and you make small steps to help yourself move forward, so keep up the amazing progress. You are incredibly strong and can beat this!

I hope you continue to see your counselor, contact the Helpline, and keep us updated with your progress!

_admin_moderator
Your Post Was Edited

Hello Layne,

Your post has been modified so that no content could potentially trigger others in the community.

Best,
_admin_moderator

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