National Eating Disorders Association

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Cabal
10 Years and No Progress

Hi, I've been dealing with bulimia for about a decade now and with no avail. And aside from some immediate friends and a consular or two this is by far the most public I've been about this. I'm 24 right now, in university and I've been struggling with my weight issues for the majority of my life. In the last ten years my weight has fluctuated going down and up again constantly and I don't think it's ever been the same for more than 2 months at a time. Typically my issues with bulimia I've ignored. Long story short I came from a mentally abusive household and dealt with depression and suicidal tendencies for much longer. This then spiraled into some issues with PTSD and anxiety. So I've constantly kept this in a back seat, believing I need to deal with the bigger issue of suicide. Its only been recently that I've come to realized how my binging and purging has become just a catalyst for my other problems and I really need to stop. At my best in the last 10 years I think I've gone a few months without a purge but that come rarely. Being a broke engineering student, the wasted money and time spent on the subject has gone from a nuisance to an actual problems halting my workload.

So I came here trying to find a anchor point. I want to stop and have had success in the past in stopping for the sake of a loved one, only to start back up again once I'm off their radar, or they deemed me as "cured". So here I am trying again :)

_admin_moderator
Welcome to the community

Hi Cabal - We are glad that you are finding support here on the NEDA forums. Portions of your post were edited, as they may have been triggering to other people in the forum.

Our community guidelines are always available to review here:
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/community-guidelines.

Again, thank you for posting, and we hope you will continue to do so!

liz489
Welcome!

Hi Cabal,

Welcome to the forum. You have come to the right place to find support. It sounds like you have been struggling for a while, so I am glad to hear you have decided to take this next step towards recovery. It definitely can be difficult to share these things! I know it took a long time for me to open up about my own struggles.

Are you seeing a counselor or any other professional for support now? If not, the NEDA Helpline is a great place to start, if you are looking to find those types of resources in your area. I encourage you to give them a call (800-931-2237 M-TH 9-9 EST and F 9-5 EST).

Again, welcome and please continue to share your story here.

Best,
Liz

Adage
Hey Cabal.

Hey Cabal.
Just to add on to what liz489 said. It sounds like you're in a decent space right now despite the ED. But I've still got to post the info below just in case. There's always another option to those types of thoughts. And as someone who's had them, I can say that time really did help to put things into perspective.

Self-Harm Prevention line at 1-800-334-4357
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

As far as the ED is concerned. Have you considered lighter professional work? There are therapy groups for EDs. And as you probably already know, one on one with therapists who specialize in EDs. Have you ever worked with a dietician? Those can be helpful in helping you create an eating schedule.

In the meantime. Check out some of the other posts people have made.

- Adage