several years in...

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ziggybee
several years in...

Hey everyone,
I just joined after finding this site. I was ed-nos (never diagnosed, mainly anorexic tendencies, some bulimic) for 4 years as a teenager. 7 years later I still think the same disordered thoughts before eating anything. I try to just eat anyway and I am above a healthy weight, which drives me crazy...
I'm wondering if any of you deal with this years into your recovery? I look back on my very disordered days with a sense of nostalnostalgia and I know that isn't healthy. I'd just like to hear someone else's input :)

surfer
hi ziggybee

I know what your going through! I am several years into my own recovery from anorexia. I was active in my disorder for about 5 years. As an ex-smoker, I see a lot of recovery similarities between the two issues. In both cases you can be years into recovery, yet still think about it most days. Both have situational triggers that may never go away entirely. The one difference for me was, as difficult as it was to give up cogs. Giving up my ED is ten times harder. You mentiined nostalgia (sp?) Wow, you aren't kidding. Weird how we look back so warmly on what objectively must be the worst times in our lives. But if I trusted my instincts, I wouldn't view it like that.

Just take it slow. Try to relax by doing something healthy that you enjoy. Perhaps most importantly, view you judgment with suspicion and when in doubt, talk to someone you trust.

Good luck!!

nanzhu
Hi ziggybee,

Hi ziggybee,

Thanks for sharing your story! I can definitely relate in that I was struggling with some disordered eating habits too without being officially diagnosed for a few years in high school. Those habits and behaviors accumulated though and for me, it was important for me to finally talk to someone about it to prevent them from getting worse. This lifted a lot of those worries and thoughts in my head about food off my shoulders so I could find solutions rather than dwell on them.

Is there anyone who you feel comfortable talking to about these thoughts? It's not too late to find help and support - you're on your way with sharing here on the forum after all! The NEDA Helpline (1-800-931-2237, M-R 9-9, F 9-5) is another great place to find help and information. Here are some links that might also be useful:

Finding help and support: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/find-help-support
Slips and lapses: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/slips-lapses-and-relapses
Tips on sharing with others: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/sharing-eeease
Positive body image: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/developing-and-maintaining-positi...

I hope this helps - keep going!
Nan

wilcc001
Still Dealing

Hi,
I have been in recovery for 7 years following 22 years of Anorexia/Bulimia. I am at a stable weight and have maintained it for almost a year now. Do I continue to have thoughts...yes. Do I continue to wish I could be thinner....yes. Do I act on these thoughts/feelings...No.

It is a LOT of work, but with help you can get to a place where you manage your ED and live your life instead of living ED's life.

Get help. It is too hard to do on your own.

It is NEVER to late.

You can do it!!

~C

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